On the outside, Home Alone is about a boy who has to defend his house from two criminals after being left behind on a family trip. But let's cut the shit. Kevin wasn't trying to save his house. He was trying to kill two men. Kevin takes pleasure in other people's pain. He is a sadist.
Our first warning sign of Kevin being a totally dark-sided problematic child happens early in the movie when we see Kevin fully ecstatic about his parents "disappearing."
Things are fun and games and mac ’n’ cheese...
...until the *real* Kevin comes out.
When provoked by two intruders, Kevin snaps.
Kevin makes a plan to kill the intruders. He sets up booby traps throughout his house. This is not the work of an innocent child. This is the work of a trained killer.
Welcome to hell house.
It starts off innocent enough. Kevin sets out ornaments for Marv to step on. Fine.
He ices the front steps. Okay.
But things take a darker turn when Kevin puts a hot iron on the door. How he thought of this? No idea.
In the back of the house, he sets up a blowtorch. He wants to essentially burn Harry's head off.
Then, from short range, he shoots Marv in the head. His smile speaks volumes on the pleasure he's getting from this.
He tries to mutilate their genitals...
...and smash their skulls in.
All the while, he's LOVING IT.
Luckily, thank god, the police come before Kevin can kill them.
But this isn't the end. Kevin must kill Harry and Marv.
And that's what he tries to do in the sequel.
In the second Home Alone, Kevin commits credit card fraud...
...befriends a lady obsessed with pigeons (more on her later)...
...and breaks into a relative's house.
Kevin must finish what he started. He must kill Harry and Marv.
This is "Operation Ho Ho Ho," Kevin's second plan to murder them once and for all.
Kevin's bloodthirsty rampage starts from the roof of the brownstone he fully booby-trapped.
He grabs a brick and launches it at Marv. It slams into his head. He should, again, be dead.
Kevin's killing traps are harsher this time. He literally drops a set of tools onto Harry. Harry's head should be cracked open, brains all over the floor.
There's also another blowtorch. This kid is really obsessed with fire.
He blows up his aunt and uncle's first floor.
What kind of sick fuck sets up an apparatus like this to SHOOT NAILS IN SOMEONE'S FACE.
He electrocutes Marv. YOU CAN SEE HIS BONES.
Then Kevin slams them with a tool chest. Their organs should be crushed but somehow they're still living.
Kevin has one last chance to kill them. He lights a rope on fire. It's awful.
Then, just then, Kevin calls the cops. If Kevin wasn't a sadistic little monster, he would have just done it in the first place. But nope, he wanted them dead.
Then our old friend, Pigeon Lady, comes back to score her vengeance.
She wants the birds to eat Harry and Marv alive.
"HA HA HA DIE FUCKERS."
Luckily for Harry and Marv again, before the birds could eat them, the police show up.
The movie ends with Kevin and the Pigeon Lady embracing in the park. They didn't kill Harry and Marv but they will someday. It's fucked.