Nine years ago ALMOST TO THE DAY, on Feb. 16, 2007, Britney Spears walked into Esther's hair salon in Tarzana, California, and asked the owner, Esther herself, to shave her head.
When Esther refused (how dare she!), Britney sat in the chair and did it herself.
In essence, a legend had hit her rock bottom. A star had lost its shine. Humanity wept.
After she shaved her head, Britney went to a tattoo parlor and got two tattoos. When an employee at the salon asked Britney why she shaved her head, Britney said: "I don't want anyone touching me. I'm tired of everybody touching me."
It was genuinely so, so fucked up.
We were literally watching Britney destruct in front of our eyes.
And no one was doing anything.
That was nine years ago.
Nine years later, on Feb. 13, 2016, this is Britney Spears:
Now listen carefully: This is no "yaaass queen" gay exaggeration hyperbole bullshit, but Britney Spears is genuinely BACK.
Fuck Michelangelo, we are in the midst of the one true Renaissance...
...the Britney Spears Renaissance.
The queen hath risen and her kingdom is at the Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas.
Her last two shows have been some of her best of the last 10 years.
THIS IS NOT AN EXAGGERATION! I TELL NO LIES!
Seriously, watch this video. DO NOT SKIP IT:
DO NOT SKIP THIS ONE EITHER!
AND WHILE YOU ARE AT IT (ACTUALLY WATCHING VIDEOS), WATCH THIS ONE TOO:
Whether you like it or not, the receipts have been posted on Instagram: Britney Spears has come a long-ass way since that dark-ass night nine years ago.
80% of her new album is done.
She is the newly crowned queen of Instagram.
And she has become a legitimate source of inspiration to all: