1. Ding dong! Ding dong! Gather the people, bring the children! The time has come to expose Justin Timberlake for the opportunist fuck boy that he really is! It’s time he stops using Britney Spears for press and keeps her name out of his mouth once and for all!
2. Let me explain.
3. It all started in 2002 when Justin Timberlake was trying to get away from that whole boy band ramen noodle hair thing. He had just broken up with the biggest pop star in the world, and boy, was this the PERFECT time for him to go solo.
5. That’s when it appears a new PR strategy came into play. Let’s milk the fuck out of this Britney breakup situation.
6. Let’s drag her to filth and put her on full blast.
7. Luckily for Justin, the press was on his side. He played his cards right and Britney was the betrayer…
This cover ran on Sept. 2, 2002.
8. …and he was the hero.
This cover came out a week after the one calling Britney the betrayer.
9. The narrative had been set.
Britney = monster.
And now he was going to use it for his advantage.
11. He denies that any songs on his album were about her but then plays a song on the piano called “Horrible Woman.” I kid you not, these are the lyrics: “I thought our love was so strong / I guess I was dead wrong / But to look at it positively, hey girl / At least you gave me another song about a horrible woman.”
WHAT KIND OF TAYLOR SWIFT FUCKERY IS THIS?!
12. AND THEN, like a true class act, when asked if BRITNEY kept her promise to wait to have sex until marriage, Justin says “sure” then bursts out into laughter.
13. AND THIS WAS JUST THE BEGINNING. There’s a 10-minute video on YouTube of Justin talking about Britney while promoting his album. Check that out.
14. Then it gets messier.
18. It gets worse.
20. He tells Sharon Osbourne he just wasn’t impressed with the Britney/Madonna 2003 VMA performance: “It’s not that I was upset with it. I just wasn’t impressed.”
21. And in an interview with Hot 97, he said, “I did it. I’m dirty” when asked if he had “oral intercourse”* with her.
*A QUESTION HE DIDN’T HAVE TO ANSWER AND COULD HAVE EASILY AVOIDED COMMENTING ON.
22. Moving on.
23. In 2006, FOUR YEARS AFTER THEIR BREAKUP AND HE WAS DATING CAMERON DIAZ, Justin had a new album to promote, so he employed his foolproof strategy: bring up Britney, AGAIN.
24. In an interview with GQ, Justin said: “I felt like she had a couple of opportunities to just sort of stick up for me, and she didn’t. Which is ﬁne. But at that time, you know, I fought back, and that’s the way I fought back. I used my mind. I came up with a song.”
25. Then he went back to his bread and butter and released basically a sequel to “Cry Me a River” called “What Goes Around Comes Around.”
26. And then…
28. In 2011, NINE YEARS AFTER THEY BROKE UP, when asked about Britney in an interview with Vanity Fair, INSTEAD OF JUST NOT COMMENTING, he said: “I wish her the best—that goes without saying. We haven’t spoken in nine or 10 years. … We were two birds of the same feather—small-town kids, doing the same thing.”
29. Then, at a 2013 concert, 11 YEARS AFTER THEIR BREAKUP, he gave some speech where he was like: “Sometimes in life, you think you found the one. Then you find out that she was just a bitch.”
INTERESTING. It should be noted that afterwards, Justin denied that the comment was about Britney. He tweeted: “Ok. I see you. Wouldn’t disrespect ANYONE personally. Ever. #Relax #ItsBritneyBitch I do love that saying though *with accent* #Respect.” HMMMMM.
30. Finally, in 2016, 14 YEARS AFTER THEY BROKE UP, he is STILL putting her on subtle blast.
When VF Italia asked Justin if he needed to be “depressed or tormented” in order to write a good song, he brought up “Cry Me a River.” He said: “Depends. In the past, suffering has helped me compose songs. ‘Cry Me a River’ was written in a time of pain, like everyone knows…”
31. In conclusion, Justin Timberlake is the original Taylor Swift. He has felt the need to keep bringing up Britney’s name for WAY over a decade. And we didn’t even bring up Nipplegate.
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