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100 Things That Are Truly 100% Problematic

Your faves included.

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1. Birthday dinners

2. Splitting the check at a birthday dinner

3. That one friend who says, "OK but I only got..." instead of just splitting the bill evenly

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4. Dropping your phone

5. Dropping your phone in front of people (it draws more attention to it)

6. The price of couches

7. Cell phone data plans

the beginning of every family argument

8. When someone is sick, comes into work, and is coughing all over the place like ew

9. Happy hours that end at 7 (too early)

10. Happy hours that are only like "$2 off drafts" (not a real deal)

11. Places that serve $15 cocktails (fuck that)

12. Being hungover at work

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13. Mosquitos

14. When you wake up in the middle of the night and see that it's exactly 3 a.m. (demon hour)

15. When you're high AF and someone knocks on your front door

16. The Illuminati

17. Snacks that leave a residue on your hands (like Cheetos)

18. When you sneeze while you're driving

19. Puddles

20. Your mom's social media presence

21. When you run out of space on your phone

22. The people Facebook suggests you be friends with (you're not friends for a reason)

23. Everything about getting and being on a flight

24. When someone says you look a celebrity you really don't want to look like

25. Poppyseed bagels

26. Ants

27. When people start out Facebook posts with "I never do this on social media but"

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28. People that say they grew up in the '90s but they were born in 1994

29. Forgetting the aux cord on a road trip

30. Saying you'll go out for "only one drink" and end up getting like eight

31. Waking up in your bed the next morning with your clothes on

32. Realizing that your forgot to charge your phone the night before because of said drunkenness

"I've got loads of work over the weekend so I'll only come out for one drink"

33. When you walk into a store and five employees ask you what you're looking for that day but you're really only just browsing

34. The line at Walgreens or Rite Aid (there always is one)

35. The amount of calories the wrap of a Chipotle burrito has

36. When people come into your room when you're sleeping, leave, and don't close the door

37. When your phone changes "omw" to "On my way!" like you're really enthusiastic about it but you're not

38. When you forget to bring your phone into the bathroom and you just have to sit there doing nothing like a chump

39. Printers

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40. Cutting big watermelons

41. Blisters

42. Babies

43. Dogs that smell

44. Facebook job announcements

45. People who don't know how to walk on the sidewalk

46. People who stand on moving walkways in airports

47. When someone on Facebook says, "And now for some personal news"

48. Going to the dentist

49. When the dentist asks if you've been flossing lately when it's CLEAR that you just started flossing the week of the dentist appointment

50. A 30-second ad before a 20-second video

51. Trying to Instagram a picture that's not a square so it won't fit

52. When your friend is on a juice cleanse and won't stop talking about it

53. When your friend is doing "dry January" or some shit and won't stop talking about it

54. YouTube comments

55. When people in L.A. won't stop talking about how much better their Mexican food is

56. Chris Kirkpatrick's hair

57. When people reply all to an email that didn't call for a reply all

58. When the waiter asks, "How's your meal" and you're taking a big bite

59. When people post engagement photos on Facebook

60. Remembering your Apple ID password

61. When someone asks, "What you like to do?"

62. When you're controlling the music and someone's like, "Hold up, let me play a song"

63. Cheap paper towels (they run out easily)

64. Cheap garbage bags (they break)

65. Humidity

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66. Air-conditioning in offices (always cold)

67. The fact that Carly Rae Jepsen can't get a hit

68. Space (it's so big)

69. Flying over oceans for an extended period of time (it's scary)

70. Wind

71. Paper straws

72. Passwords that require an uppercase letter, number, AND a punctuation mark

73. Sharks

74. Bees

75. Spelling Jake Gyllenhaal

76. When YouTube videos are "not available in your country"

77. People with Wi-Fi passwords that are like this: JKLGKL234ou234

78. When you see that someone is texting you and it's all "…" and then they stop and you're waiting there like "…WHAT?"

79. Your friend who is always cold

80. Your friend who always asks for a bite

81. When there are no ripe avocados at the grocery store

82. Food poisoning

83. When you think about buying something on Amazon, you go to the page, and then you leave the page only to be followed by ads for the thing all over the internet

84. People who save empty liquor bottles and display them in their kitchen

85. The "mother" in kombucha (the floating turd)

86. Sharting

87. The amount of fat in nuts

88. Having to pee, you find a Starbucks, but the line is long AF

89. Feeling something touch your leg while you're swimming in the ocean or a lake

90. When people don't wash their hands after going to the bathroom

91. How much water it takes to make ONE almond

92. When it's really hot during the day and really cold at night and you forget to bring a light jacket

93. The fact that man buns are becoming a trend

94. Really close-up microscopic pictures of normal everyday options (no one needs to see things that close up)

95. The "friends" you make during your first week of college (not real)

96. Math

97. The iCloud (what is it?)

98. Your roommate who never does the dishes

99. Your roommate who never takes out the trash

100. John Travolta's chin nubbin

101*. The fact that I called a tortilla a "wrap."

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