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    Posted on Nov 7, 2017

    91 Songs That Are Way Better Than Anything The Beatles Ever Did

    The only list you need today.

    1. "Touch" by Little Mix

    Would you rather four dusty old white dudes or four gorgeous vocalists that epitomize sisterhood? I'll take the latter.

    2. "Into You" by Ariana Grande

    "Into You" makes "Hey Jude" sound like fucking "Humpty Dumpty" (but worse).

    3. "Show Stopper" by Danity Kane

    Imagine thinking music was at its artistic peak 50 years ago when the fact is music actually peaked 10 years ago with Danity Kane? Sad.

    4. Leighton Meester's gorgeous solo album, "Heartstrings"

    5. Leighton Meester's masterpiece, "Good Girls Gone Bad"

    6. Shania Twain's "Come On Over" album

    7. Underrated ballad, "Nobody Wants To Be Lonely" by Ricky Martin & Christina Aguilera

    8. Gayest remix of all-time, "It's Not Right But It's Okay (Thunderpuss Mix)" by Whitney Houston

    9. "I Hope You Dance" by Lee Ann Womack

    10. Literally just a supercut of Rupaul saying "Bring Back My Girls"

    11. "Sparks" by Hilary Duff

    Revolutionary and ahead of it's time. Not everyone (the Beatles) have a song like that!

    12. "Only Hope" by a dying Mandy Moore

    13. The Cellino & Barnes telephone number

    14. "Bossy" by Lindsay Lohan

    15. "All Or Nothing" by O-Town

    16. Just the beginning of "California" by Phantom Planet

    17. Anything from the golden era of Sheryl Crow (1993-2001)

    18. Anything from the movie Coyote Ugly

    19. "Candy" by Mandy Moore

    "Candy" is an iconic music video where Mandy Moore and some friends have milkshakes then break out into a choreographed dance routine in an abandoned swimming pool. The Beatles have...not that!

    20. "Cool For The Summer" by Demi Lovato

    Literally changed the way we view a season.

    21. "Work From Home" by Fifth Harmony

    Literally gave a voice to freelancers everywhere.

    22. "Me & You" by Cassie

    Invented mid-2000s one-hit-wonders.

    23. The Gullah Gullah Island theme song...

    24. ...but especially Binyah Binyah's solo

    25. "Pump Up The Jam" by Technotronic

    26. "Ohh Ahh Just A Little Bit" by Gina G

    27. "Get Low" by Lil Jon & The Eastside Boys

    28. "Potential Breakup Song" by Aly & Aj

    29. "For You I Will" by Teddy Geiger

    30. "We Found Love" by Rihanna

    Rihanna has experimented with rock, pop, dubstep, rap, r&b, and EDM. The Beatles just play guitars.

    31. "Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie

    Imagine writing a song so poignant it still holds up today. The Beatles wouldn't know.

    32. "No More" by 3LW

    Let me know when the the Beatles have a group that can sing AND rap.

    33. "Believe" by Cher

    Cher has had a musical career for like 72 years. The Beatles? Like two.

    34. "S Club Party" by S Club 7

    Did the Beatles have a wildly successful show on ABC Family? Nope. Next please!

    35. "Hail Holy Queen" by the nuns on Sister Act

    36. The Baby Bottle Pop commercial jingle

    37. "Pizza in the morning, pizza in the evening, pizza at suppertime. When pizza's on a bagel you can have pizza anytime."

    38. "Smile" by Vitamin C

    39. "Dirrty" by Christina Aguilera

    As far as I know, the Beatles wanted nothing to do with dirty, filthy, nasty shower clubs and leather chaps. Not very sex-positive to me!

    40. "Buttons" by the Pussycat Dolls

    PCD made middle school dances erupt into problematic and awkward grinding. The Beatles...not so much, maybe just Mrs. Smith awkwardly singing in the corner.

    41. "New Rules" by Dua Lipa

    Put this on in a gay club and the dance floor will fill up. Put the Beatles on and my Uncle Steve will start singing.

    42. "Slumber Party" by Britney Spears and Tinasha

    Call me when the Beatles host an illuminati lesbianonic orgy please.

    43. The "Full House" theme song

    44. The sound my phone makes when someone Venmos me

    45. The Pure Moods soundtrack commercial

    46. "Get Over Yourself" by Eden's Crush

    47. "Friends Forever" by the Zack Attack

    48. Anything from Jock Jams: Volume 1

    49. "Go For It!" by Hot Sundae

    Encouraged youth to work out. The Beatles...yeah, they just smoked a lot of weed. (Still cool).

    50. "My Neck, My Back" by Khia

    Khia encouraged people everywhere to have their ass eaten. The Beatles didn't eat ass.

    51. "Run Away With Me" by Carly Rae Jepsen

    52. "E•MO•TION" by Carly Rae Jepsen

    53. "I Really Like You" by Carly Rae Jepsen

    54. "Gimmie Love" by Carly Rae Jepsen

    55. "All That" by Carly Rae Jepsen

    56. "Boy Problems" by Carly Rae Jepsen

    57. "Making The Most of the Night" by Carly Rae Jepsen

    58. "Your Type" by Carly Rae Jepsen

    59. "Let’s Get Lost" by Carly Rae Jepsen

    60. "L.A. Hallucinations" by Carly Rae Jepsen

    61. "Warm Blood" by Carly Rae Jepsen

    62. "When I Needed You" by Carly Rae Jepsen

    63. "Another Dumb Blonde" by Hoku

    Fought for blonde equality.

    64. "Oh Happy Day" by Wesley from Sister Act 2

    One of the most beautiful moments in cinematic history.

    65. "You Don't Own Me" by Bette Midler, Goldie Hawn & Diane Keaton from The First Wives Club

    I mean, do I really have to explain why THIS is better than the Beatles?

    66. "Express" by Christina Aguilera in Burlesque

    Does anyone still talk about "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" movie because my (gay-ass) friends still talk about Burlesque constantly.

    67. "Disco Tits" by Tove Lo

    Tove Lo basically fucked a puppet in this music video. The Beatles were apparently not into "that sort of thing."

    68. Jessy from Little Mix saying "Ballegduh"

    69. Britney Spears' Pepsi commercial

    70. "Stars Are Blind" by Paris Hilton

    71. "Nothing In This World" by Paris Hilton

    72. My mom saying dinner is ready

    73. The delivery man calling me and telling me he's downstairs

    74. The voice on the subway saying there is a train approaching the station

    75. "See You Again" by Miley Cyrus

    Miley Cyrus released this when she was like 12. The Beatles released most of their work in their 20s. Think about that!

    76. "Breakaway" by Kelly Clarkson

    This is the look Kelly sported in the "Breakaway" vid. The Beatles wore raggedy old bellbottoms and ugly newsboy hats (I think).

    77. "Dancing On My Own" by Robyn

    Imagine liking the Beatles more than Robyn? That just awful.

    78. "Waiting For Tonight" by Jennifer Lopez

    An anthem for the millennium. The Beatles were like in the '60s. Not relevant.

    79. The Kim Possible beeper

    80. The Proud Family theme song

    81. The Zoey 101 theme song

    82. "What Dreams Are Made Of" originally by Isabella but later by Lizzie McGuire

    83. Literally just Isabella saying "sing to me Paolo."

    84. "All I Want For Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey


    85. "Always Be My Baby" by Mariah Carey

    Also self-explanatory.

    86. "Happy Birthday (Live From Singapore)" by Britney Spears

    A new and exciting re-working of a classic. The Beatles could never.

    87. When they do the dance to "The Rockafeller Skank" in She's All That

    88. "F.U.R.B. (F U Right Back)" by Frankee

    89. "Banging On A Trash Can" from Doug

    90. Mr. Hyunh from Hey Arnold singing "The Simple Things"

    91. And "Get Busy" by Sean Paul

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