In case you've been stranded in the middle of the ocean on a boat on Mars, then you know that Taylor Swift is in the midst of her "dark era." She hasn't done any interviews yet and is just kind of randomly dropping songs and a deeply layered music video. We don't actually know if she's going to physically appear in the flesh. She's essentially a ghost.
This past weekend, Taylor was in Martha's Vineyard for her best friend's wedding. Because Taylor is doing this whole dark thing, she did everything she possibly could to hide from the paparazzi...
...and to be honest, it's kind of amazing and we should all strive to someday be this level of extra. Let me show you.
When she landed off her private jet, Taylor was shuffled to a SUV and was covered by not one, not two, but three umbrellas.
THREE UMBRELLAS and a random ginger lady!
People into feet and shins are rejoicing because we did get a glimpse of her two feet, six toes, her left arm, part of her right sleeve, and her belt region.
And that's not all!
The hiding gets better.
Taylor one upped her three umbrella masquerade with three old men, two black table cloths, and two umbrellas at a restaurant.
Take notes, you basic plebes. This is how you make an insanely obvious inconspicuous exit. Truly legendary.
I think we can all agree, the real star of this stakeout is her iconic older minion and lifter of the cloth: Random Old Guy In Grey Suit. You my friend, are a legend.
My absolute favorite picture of Taylor's weekend in hiding is this picture of her driving away from a night out. As you can see, the table cloth has been put between the back seat and the driver. It's brilliant and insane and I love it.
So basically, some of you may be saying "what the fuck did I just read?" And that's exactly what you should be saying because this is 2017 and Taylor Swift covered in multiple table cloths is news.