Skip To Content
  • Viral badge

Here's Why Mariah Carey Doesn't Give A Shit About Her NYE Performance

Mariah isn't "over," whether you like it or not.

In case you somehow missed it, Mariah Carey royally fucked up her New Year's Eve performance.

vine.co

After the performance, people on the internet were screaming that Mariah was "over" or "the last casualty of 2016."

The thing is, that's all dumb bullshit. You are all wrong. Let me explain...

First of all, Mariah Carey has sold more than 200 million albums.

She has won five Grammy awards.

She has two beautiful children...

...and her kids will be friends with Beyoncé's kids, which means they will be, like, power kids or something.

She flies all over the world in private jets looking like this:

She can sing in five octaves and has been called the highest-pitched contemporary singer of our time.

In 2001, she signed an $80 million record contract with Virgin Records. In 2002, she was GIVEN FOR FREE $28 million to leave Virgin Records. That same year, she signed a $20 million contract with Def Jam. What does this mean? SHE'S RICH AS FUCK.

She also made $27 million in 2015 alone.

She literally bathes in jewels...

...and is always going on crazy, fabulous, rich vacations.

Here she is making pizza in Italy:

Over the course of her 27-year career, Mariah has had 18 #1 songs. Let's list them out for fun:

#1

#1

#1

#1

#1

#1

#1

#1

#1

#1

#1

#1

#1

#1

#1

#1

#1

And #1. "One Sweet Day" was #1 for 16 weeks, which makes it the longest-running #1 in Billboard history.

She's spent a total of 79 weeks at #1. That's literally insane. Your faves will never.

She also has basically one of the only "modern-day" Christmas classics of the past 30 years.

To wrap it up, Mariah has millions of fans all over the world.

She has her own iconic catchphrase.

She rides the subway wearing gowns.

And is, without a doubt, an undisputed LEGEND. She will be fine and she doesn't give a fuck.

Mariah Carey is one of the most successful artists in music history. She will be around forever.

Last but not least, almost EVERY pop singer lip-synchs. This is a non-issue! Bye!