Yesterday, Kumail Nanjiani debuted his very ripped and very veiny body in an Instagram post that quite literally stopped everything on the internet for 20 minutes in a way I haven't seen since Kim Kardashian West did that Paper magazine cover of just, like, her ass.
It was a moment most pleasing to me and others.
Not only was it a moment most pleasing to horny fools like myself, but also to many, many celebrities. His post got Kardashian-level engagement.
1. Dax Shepard called out the vascularity.
2. John Stamos fell in love.
3. Aaron Paul was in disbelief.
4. The Rock congratulated him on his dense muscle because not everyone has that!
5. Jonathan Van Ness revealed he had the inside scoop.
6. Tan France was livid.
7. Dave Bautista gave out a "Holy good god!"
8. Moshe Kasher canceled nerd culture.
9. The millionaire matchmaker Patti Stanger got exactly one like for her "Hot! Who knew?" comment.
10. Pornhub wondered what was happening.
11. Jason Biggs let out a resounding "Holy balls."
12. Jillian Bell commended his hard work.
13. Jameela Jamil said he was exuding D'angelo energy.
14. Nick Kroll didn't understand what was going on.
15. Zach Braff stopped eating his Kit Kat.
16. Kristen Schaal asked for CGI.
17. Simu Liu gave him a very fitting "Ok daddy."
18. Judd Apatow said he looked the same way.
19. Nick Thune asked how much he benched.
20. Gemma Chan congratulated his wife.
21. Sarah Hyland asked about the nutritionist.
22. Terry Crews gave a resounding "DAMN."
23. Chelsea Handler said it was ridiculous.
24. Ali Wong used that shy yet horny and surprised emoji.
25. Whitney Cummings' mind was blown.
26. Abbi Jacobson used a fire, an arm, and a dancing girl emoji.
27. Zachary Levi did basically the same emojis as Abbi.
28. Charlie Day didn't get it.
29. Natasha Lyonne quoted Carrie Underwood.
