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    These 25 Photos Of Half-Naked Military Dudes Covered In Lard Climbing A Monument Will Leave You Sticky

    *Happy Gilmore voice* "My happy place."

    Every year, freshmen at the the US Naval Academy in Annapolis have to climb a big-ass stone monument that's covered in lard and put a hat on top of it because of no real reason besides tradition.

    The Washington Post / Getty Images

    And every year, I freak the fuck out and wait patiently for the pictures to start coming in because I am a problematic thirsty MFer with an addiction to ****.

    Mark Wilson / Getty Images

    That being said, I am a man of service. I'm a crowd-pleaser and I know I'm not the only one who appreciates half-naked, greased-up men touching each other. Soooo, I pulled out my magnifying class, a big-ass glass of water for hydration, and went to work FOR YOU.

    Kayann / Getty Images

    1. What's better than this? Guys being dudes (covered in lard and mostly nude grinding on each other)!

    The Washington Post / Getty Images

    2. Anuses, arms, crotches! It's like *the works* for lovers of that iconic trifecta.

    Baltimore Sun / Getty Images

    3. Piles of men, people. PILES O' MEN!

    The Washington Post / Getty Images

    4. I want to be there (minus being stepped on and covered in grass clippings).

    Mark Wilson / Getty Images

    5. This picture is giving me fisting vibes.

    Mark Wilson / Getty Images

    6. This picture makes me proud to be American.

    Baltimore Sun / Getty Images

    7. And this picture just gives me anxiety because everyone looks like they're in tremendous pain!

    Patrick Smith / Getty Images

    8. Interesting stance : D

    Patrick Smith / Getty Images

    9. Fleshy.

    Patrick Smith / Getty Images

    10. I love camaraderie.

    Patrick Smith / Getty Images

    11. I love patriotism.

    The Washington Post / Getty Images

    12. I JUST REALLY FUCKING LOVE AMERICA, OK?!

    The Washington Post / Getty Images

    13. This guy isn't having it, but I sure am lol.

    The Washington Post / Getty Images

    14. There are a lot of muscles in this picture.

    Mark Wilson / Getty Images

    15. The guy on the right... I'M.

    Mark Wilson / Getty Images

    16. OK, more butts.

    The Washington Post / Getty Images

    17. More teamwork.

    The Washington Post / Getty Images

    18. More cool pictures!

    The Washington Post / Getty Images

    19. This is a particularly cool picture!

    The Washington Post / Getty Images

    20. This guy looks like he is two steps away from death, but I think it's still a cool pic.

    Al Drago / CQ-Roll Call,Inc.

    21. Also a cool pic.

    The Washington Post / Getty Images

    22. This picture just *clicks* with me.

    Getty Images

    23. And this picture is just about perfect minus me not being there.

    Getty Images

    24. To wrap it up, I just wanted to share these pictures because I know *some people* out there would appreciate it.

    Getty Images

    25. Until next year, LYLAS.

    Getty Images

    *H.A.G.S.*

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