1. Before Taylor Swift was like THE Taylor Swift, she was just a normal-ish teen on Myspace.
5. BUT… what’s even better than any of her Myspace pictures are the comments she used to leave on her friends’ comment sections or walls or whatever they were called on Myspace.
6. They’re awesome.
7. The following were supposedly screencapped a few years ago before Myspace went to complete shit. They can’t be 100% verified so I guess you have to take these with a grain of salt
8. The comments are mostly random inside jokes like this one where she says “haha fuck sewing machines.”
For the mobile-y impaired (you can’t see), this comment says:
“Just a little reminder to you that, even though the semester may be over…
I’m still quite obsessed with you.
haha fuck sewing machines.
9. These ones are about the artist Grant Wood, her friend’s boobs, and the word “durr.”
The first one says:
“Everybody watch Kelsey’s scrolling pictures of her friends until you get to the one of shelby.
Her boobs look AMAZING.
The second says:
“I’m Grant Motherfucking Wood.
I do what I want
and say the word “durr”.
12. Here she is sub-wall commenting about someone else (a very mid-2000s thing) and talking about posting PROM PICTURES!!!
“PUT UP PROM PICTURES!!!!!!!
And as soon as I get my laptop back, I’ll be leaving you a certain picture that I think you’ll like.
Because a certain girl might see it.
13. This one is super weird but is especially notable for the use of “queer fellow,” “top 8,” “sex van” and the words “thinketh” + “hangeth.” Honestly this one is just so rich.
“I read your complaining comment about how your not on abilgails top 8. well, how could you be? I’M THERE. TAKING YOUR SPOT HAHAHAHA (evil laugh, you know the drill). Well, anyway, listen my queer fellow, I thinketh we shall hangeth out sometime soon, eh? yes yes, i do believe i am growing fond of this idea. drive over in your sex van and come pick me up. farewell knave.”
14. Apparently Taylor really had a thing for sketchy vans.
“I am obsessed with you.
If you look out your window and down the street about 200 yards, you may see a big white van parked on the street. I am inside the van with a telescope and computer. Just trying to catch a glimpse of kelsey dammmm morris.
haha. end of story.”
17. Here’s two more with some random inside jokes about deep-throating a lollipop (I feel like everyone had an inside joke about deep-throating lollipops) and a tiger-lion hybrid whore.
The first one says:
“Guess who has a thing for you.
The hottest guy in the world.
Whats the mixture of a tiger and a lion?
think about it.”
The second one says:
“”I definitely just deep-throated the lollipop.”
Heyy little girl.. do you want to know a see-ker-ett?
thanks for helping me with my computer troubles.
I know you bend many way for me.
i like dat.”
19. In conclusion,
Fuck sewing machines.
Correction: That emo pic was from an appearance on CSI and not from her actual Myspace. We all lose.