Taylor Swift’s Alleged Old Myspace Comments Are Pretty Great


1. Before Taylor Swift was like THE Taylor Swift, she was just a normal-ish teen on Myspace.

2. This was apparently Taylor’s first Myspace picture…

Myspace / Via fafmag.com

3. … and here’s an early selfie reminiscent of most digital camera selfies* of the mid-2000s…

*That flash.

4. … and here’s just a really random emo pic that screams Myspace but is actually from an appearance on CSI.

Myspace / Via klear.com

5. BUT… what’s even better than any of her Myspace pictures are the comments she used to leave on her friends’ comment sections or walls or whatever they were called on Myspace.

6. They’re awesome.

7. The following were supposedly screencapped a few years ago before Myspace went to complete shit. They can’t be 100% verified so I guess you have to take these with a grain of salt

8. The comments are mostly random inside jokes like this one where she says “haha fuck sewing machines.”

For the mobile-y impaired (you can’t see), this comment says:

“Just a little reminder to you that, even though the semester may be over…

I’m still quite obsessed with you.

haha fuck sewing machines.


9. These ones are about the artist Grant Wood, her friend’s boobs, and the word “durr.”

The first one says:

“Everybody watch Kelsey’s scrolling pictures of her friends until you get to the one of shelby.

Her boobs look AMAZING.


The second says:

“I’m Grant Motherfucking Wood.

I do what I want

and say the word “durr”.


10. Even Taylor hated when her friends posted bad pics of her!



It serves NO purpose other than to make me look FUGYLY.

I want it off NOW.

but I loove you”

11. This one has another random inside joke from the move Sahara.


“I shot some guy with a flare gun”

best line ever.”

12. Here she is sub-wall commenting about someone else (a very mid-2000s thing) and talking about posting PROM PICTURES!!!


And as soon as I get my laptop back, I’ll be leaving you a certain picture that I think you’ll like.

Because a certain girl might see it.

13. This one is super weird but is especially notable for the use of “queer fellow,” “top 8,” “sex van” and the words “thinketh” + “hangeth.” Honestly this one is just so rich.

“I read your complaining comment about how your not on abilgails top 8. well, how could you be? I’M THERE. TAKING YOUR SPOT HAHAHAHA (evil laugh, you know the drill). Well, anyway, listen my queer fellow, I thinketh we shall hangeth out sometime soon, eh? yes yes, i do believe i am growing fond of this idea. drive over in your sex van and come pick me up. farewell knave.”

14. Apparently Taylor really had a thing for sketchy vans.

“I am obsessed with you.

If you look out your window and down the street about 200 yards, you may see a big white van parked on the street. I am inside the van with a telescope and computer. Just trying to catch a glimpse of kelsey dammmm morris.

haha. end of story.”

15. In this one she’s just randomly complimenting a person (which was a normal thing to do back then in the olden when you were bored.)

“Kelsey’s awesome.
And got best smile.
And should have gotten best everything else.

16. Here’s some weird ass limerick.

17. Here’s two more with some random inside jokes about deep-throating a lollipop (I feel like everyone had an inside joke about deep-throating lollipops) and a tiger-lion hybrid whore.

The first one says:
“Guess who has a thing for you.

The hottest guy in the world.

Whats the mixture of a tiger and a lion?


think about it.”

The second one says:
“”I definitely just deep-throated the lollipop.”

Heyy little girl.. do you want to know a see-ker-ett?

thanks for helping me with my computer troubles.
I know you bend many way for me.
i like dat.”

18. And in this one she uses the word “Chorttle.”

19. In conclusion,

Fuck sewing machines.

Correction: That emo pic was from an appearance on CSI and not from her actual Myspace. We all lose.

21. Music Week is a week of content that celebrates the awesome classic jams, artists, and music videos you grew up with — as well as future classics. Take a step back in time and check out more great music content here.

Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed

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