Celebrity

Taylor Swift's Alleged Old Myspace Comments Are Pretty Great

PLEASE BE REAL.

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Before Taylor Swift was like THE Taylor Swift, she was just a normal-ish teen on Myspace.

BUT... what's even better than any of her Myspace pictures are the comments she used to leave on her friends' comment sections or walls or whatever they were called on Myspace.

They're awesome.

The following were supposedly screencapped a few years ago before Myspace went to complete shit. They can't be 100% verified so I guess you have to take these with a grain of salt 🌚

The comments are mostly random inside jokes like this one where she says "haha fuck sewing machines."

bettylurkin.tumblr.com

For the mobile-y impaired (you can't see), this comment says:

"Just a little reminder to you that, even though the semester may be over...

I'm still quite obsessed with you.

haha fuck sewing machines.

lovelovelove

-T-"

These ones are about the artist Grant Wood, her friend's boobs, and the word "durr."

Via socialbutterflies.wordpress.com

The first one says:

"Everybody watch Kelsey's scrolling pictures of her friends until you get to the one of shelby.

Her boobs look AMAZING.

hahahahahahaha"

The second says:

"I'm Grant Motherfucking Wood.

I do what I want

and say the word "durr".

iloveyoubutnotsomuchgrantwood

hehehe

-T-"

Even Taylor hated when her friends posted bad pics of her!

stupidoldpick-uptruck.tumblr.com

"THAT PICTURE OF ME UP AT THE TOP IS GROSS

THAT IS SICK TAKE IT DOWN

It serves NO purpose other than to make me look FUGYLY.

I want it off NOW.

but I loove you"

Here she is sub-wall commenting about someone else (a very mid-2000s thing) and talking about posting PROM PICTURES!!!

Via dirtytaylorswift.tumblr.com

"PUT UP PROM PICTURES!!!!!!!

And as soon as I get my laptop back, I'll be leaving you a certain picture that I think you'll like.

Because a certain girl might see it.

lovelovelove

-T-"

This one is super weird but is especially notable for the use of "queer fellow," "top 8," "sex van" and the words "thinketh" + "hangeth." Honestly this one is just so rich.

whyisntketchupasmoothie.tumblr.com

"I read your complaining comment about how your not on abilgails top 8. well, how could you be? I'M THERE. TAKING YOUR SPOT HAHAHAHA (evil laugh, you know the drill). Well, anyway, listen my queer fellow, I thinketh we shall hangeth out sometime soon, eh? yes yes, i do believe i am growing fond of this idea. drive over in your sex van and come pick me up. farewell knave."

Apparently Taylor really had a thing for sketchy vans.

Via welovegraylor.tumblr.com

"I am obsessed with you.

If you look out your window and down the street about 200 yards, you may see a big white van parked on the street. I am inside the van with a telescope and computer. Just trying to catch a glimpse of kelsey dammmm morris.

haha. end of story."

In this one she's just randomly complimenting a person (which was a normal thing to do back then in the olden when you were bored.)

Here's two more with some random inside jokes about deep-throating a lollipop (I feel like everyone had an inside joke about deep-throating lollipops) and a tiger-lion hybrid whore.

Via socialbutterflies.wordpress.com

The first one says:

"Guess who has a thing for you.

The hottest guy in the world.

Whats the mixture of a tiger and a lion?

A WHORE.

think about it."

The second one says:

""I definitely just deep-throated the lollipop."

Heyy little girl.. do you want to know a see-ker-ett?

hahaha

thanks for helping me with my computer troubles.

I know you bend many way for me.

i like dat."

In conclusion,

Fuck sewing machines.

Correction: That emo pic was from an appearance on CSI and not from her actual Myspace. We all lose.

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