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Don't Forget That Killing A Lion Is The Most Cowardly Thing You Can Do

I can't believe I have to explain this again.

There seems to be a *truly* problematic (I know that word means nothing but it actually works here) trend...

First, we had Melissa Bachman.

Melissa Bachman is a TV personality who hosts mostly hunting television programs. In 2013, she posted a picture with a dead lion on her Facebook page with the caption:

“An incredible day hunting in South Africa! Stalked inside 60 yards on this beautiful male lion…what a hunt!”

Then there was Kendall Jones.

Kendall Jones is a avid hunter from Texas. She even has a Facebook page devoted to hunting.

In 2014, Kendall posted these pictures to her Facebook:

Now, in 2015, it happened again.

Walter Palmer is an American dentist who paid $50,000 to kill one of Africa's most famous lions, named Cecil. Yes, THE LION EVEN HAD A NAME.

Soooo, I guess I need to remind everyone for the THIRD TIME: Killing a lion is the most cowardly thing you can do.

LET ME EXPLAIN, I have receipts...

A couple of years ago, I was able to go on a ~press trip~ with National Geographic to Africa (I know, it sounds like a humble-brag because it is) and spent a few days with two of the world's biggest lion experts, Beverly and Dereck Joubert.

The Jouberts have been practically living with lions for over 25 years.

Beverly and Dereck told me there are 90% fewer lions than there were 75 years ago.

They also told me their most iconic saying, which has really stuck with me: “Hunting a lion is the most cowardly thing you can do.”

And that's exactly what I witnessed.

When you go on safari, you have a guide. Our guide's name was James. James' job was to find the lions.

James found the lions in two steps.

Step 1: Find buffalo.

Step 2: Find lion in general buffalo vicinity.

So yup. You don't really have to stalk a lion, you just find their prey. Also look for shade. Lions get hot just like us. They generally chill out for most of the day because, like I said, it's hot.

Here are three other things I learned about lions:

1. Lions are literally just big cats. Lions act like cats because they are cats.

2. Like cats, lions just sleep and sit around all day.

3. Like cats, lions do not give a shit about you. The lions on safari see you as whatever vehicle you're in. Generally, they don't mess with it.

There was one time when we were out with the lions and they came right over and sat next to our truck. They were using it as shade. The lions were literally *chilling* three feet away from us.

To show you just how close you can get to lions, here is a picture of me next to some lions.

Me and a lion.

Seriously, we spent an hour hanging with a pack of lions. Look how close you can get to them!

Just to show you even more how *difficult* it is to hunt a lion, here are a few selfies I took with one.

He was pissed.

lol jk he was just tired.

Because then he fell asleep.

In conclusion...


Stop hunting lions. It isn't impressive and it just shows how big of a coward you are.

*Drops mic*

/end rant.

But seriously, stop.