Like a good bottle of wine, Ryan came into the world raw and unready. With not a clue, he wore strange jean jackets. You would still drink him, but it just wouldn't be right.
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He dyed his hair black. I'm sure it tasted funny.
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He was totally tasty. Just not delicious... yet.
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Look at his floppy velvet suit! And his gelled black hair! It's cute. I'm thirsting. But not totally parched.
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Then he went sour. Like really sour. Yikes.
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It was his awkward phase.
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He was aging. Flavors were molding together.
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Lost. Gone. Just searching for an identity.
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Also pale.
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Then he went through a redneck phase. I don't even know.
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There were beanies and unnecessarily loose ties.
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It was a long process...
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...but eventually he started to come around. Even when he looked like an egg.
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Time did its work. The flavors enriched. It was like he was a totally different bottle of wine.
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Ryan became delicious.
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Rich. Perfect. Let me drink you.
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It's funny what age does to wine and Ryan Gosling!
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Now I'm thirsty.
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Really fucking thirsty.
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I need wine.
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No. Not that boxed shit.
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*GULPS*
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I LOVE WINE. BYE.
