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    Definitive Proof That Ryan Gosling Is Like A Fine Wine

    Let me drink you.

    Like a good bottle of wine, Ryan came into the world raw and unready. With not a clue, he wore strange jean jackets. You would still drink him, but it just wouldn't be right.

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    He dyed his hair black. I'm sure it tasted funny.

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    He was totally tasty. Just not delicious... yet.

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    Look at his floppy velvet suit! And his gelled black hair! It's cute. I'm thirsting. But not totally parched.

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    Then he went sour. Like really sour. Yikes.

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    It was his awkward phase.

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    He was aging. Flavors were molding together.

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    Lost. Gone. Just searching for an identity.

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    Also pale.

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    Then he went through a redneck phase. I don't even know.

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    There were beanies and unnecessarily loose ties.

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    It was a long process...

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    ...but eventually he started to come around. Even when he looked like an egg.

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    Time did its work. The flavors enriched. It was like he was a totally different bottle of wine.

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    Ryan became delicious.

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    Rich. Perfect. Let me drink you.

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    It's funny what age does to wine and Ryan Gosling!

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    Now I'm thirsty.

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    Really fucking thirsty.

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    I need wine.

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    No. Not that boxed shit.

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    *GULPS*

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    I LOVE WINE. BYE.

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