Dear men, listen up. Have a seat. Pop a squat. Take a gander. We have gathered you here today to talk about behavior that has had a visibly negative effect on your life. Yes, this is an intervention. We are here because we love you.
Now, PAY ATTENTION.
In short, we (the human race) have had enough of a problematic trend that has overrun our beaches, pools, lakes, and places of leisure.
Stop wearing boxers with board shorts.
I said, PAY ATTENTION!!!!
Guys who wear boxers with board shorts are like people who stand on the walking ramps at airports. They're like that person who replies all to an office email. They're the Miranda of their friend group. In essence, they're doing it wrong.
You do not, I repeat, DO NOT have to wear boxers with board shorts.
While many men make this mistake in their teens, there is no excuse to CONTINUALLY make this mistake throughout life.
No one needs to see your heavy plaid fleece boxers. This is not the 1890s; no one needs to wear that much fabric to swim. You can't possibly need that much "extra protection." Your balls deserve better!
Board shorts were invented to make the dick breathe. The boxer impedes that breathing.
The point of board shorts is to slightly sag, revealing tan lines and upper pubeage. The boxer impedes on that, too.
In general, it's also just hotter to not wear underwear.
TL;DR: If you see something, say something. Don't let your friends wear boxers and board shorts.