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Dear Men, Stop Shaving Your Pubes

Let's end this once and for all.

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Long ago, like 12 years ago, in the dreary days of Sisqo's silver head, Ed Hardy, and Von Dutch trucker hats, a problematic trend began. This trend, a literal "pube killer," became known as "manscaping."

Manscaping spread rapidly, almost like a deadly contagious virus comparable to the one on that dreaded poop cruise of 2013. It seemed like men everywhere were trimming, plucking, and, most unfortunately, de-pubing.

Last week, we delved into the horrors of chest shaving. This week, we take a deeper dive. And by deeper dive, I mean pubes.

In layman's terms, pubes are fucking hot.

Aesthetically speaking, they're also charming. They add character. They are nice.

From my completely unscientific understanding, pheromones are like, to quote John Mayer (SORRY), sexual napalm.

This is why our bodies should remain intact.

Lastly, and most importantly, there is nothing more creepy than a man with a completely shaved crotch. You look like a puffy tween.

And I'll be damned if every man looked like a puffy tween. The injustice.