1. Kim Kardashian using Britney Spears lyrics to declare her devotion to Kris Humphries.
I'm a slave for you... @KrisHumphries
2. Diddy having a 36-hour tantric sex session.
For all those just tuning in. I'm 6 and half hrs in on a 36 hour tantric sex session. Welcome
3. Ashanti's fart tweet.
How many ladies aint scared 2 fart in front of ur man?
4. This tweet where Cher says hi to herself.
@cher hi
5. Oprah telling it like it is.
@tpa@y#m##@nyhn
6. Kevin Durant questioning everything while watching the History Channel.
I'm watching the History channel in the club and I'm wondering how do these people kno what's goin on on the sun..ain't nobody ever been
7. Drake's absolute worst lyric ever.
"If amazing was a young bitch I'd be going to jail...cause I'm fucking amazing" - Me
8. Kris Jenner feeling like she has a brick of meatloaf in her.
I feel like there's a giant meatloaf inside of me
9. Kris Jenner sharting herself.
I just sharted myself. That's when u fart and u shit yourself on accident!
10. The time Lil Jon had to take a dump but was stuck behind a bus.
WAS RUSHIN HOME TO TAKE A DUMP AND GOT CAUGHT BEHIND A SCHOOL BUS DROPPIN KIDS OFF!! LONGEST 30MINS OF MY LIFFFEEEE!!
11. Rupert Murdoch saying "Po."
Po
12. Macklemore's 9/11 tweet.
911...bush knocked down the towers
13. Britney Spears' climate change and Lady Gaga tweet.
Does anyone think global warming is a good thing? I love Lady Gaga. I think she's a really interesting artist.
14. Oprah saying something about a man.
He
15. Kylie Jenner defining, once and for all, "yolo."
[Y]ou [O]nly [L]ive [O]nce
16. Ludacris tweeting about orgasms.
Men if a woman says it's hard 4 her 2 have an orgasm from penetration, but easier from oral, do u please her or do u please yourself 1st?
17. Martha Stewart having something to say about oil.
OiI
18. Martha Stewart having something to say about the letter "r."
r
19. Martha Stewart literally just smashing her keyboard.
################@##@#p####
20. Martha Stewart, the letter "L," and a cow.
L
21. Justin Bieber asking chickens to love him.
If chickens could say love me love me that would be awsome.
22. Alec Baldwin's battle with a barista named JAY.
Starbucks on 93 and B'way. Uptight Queen barrista named JAY has an attitude problem.
23. Harry Styles' painful-dick tweet.
Just used Deep Heat then went for a wee...A mistake has been made.
24. Val Kilmer in midthought.
And
25. Seth Rogen acknowledging his mom's tweet about her camel toe.
Jesus mom https://t.co/dJZPr2Y27o
26. Tyra Banks releasing her bobbies.
...and that moment you release your bobbies from bra jail!
27. Sex GIFs.
Sex gifs
28. Cher wondering what's going on with her career.
Whats going on with mycareer
29. Lady Gaga's ode to the letter "f."
f
30. And lastly, Kim Kardashian realizing things about cucumbers.
Thanks guys! I had no idea a pickle was really a cucumber! U guys totally confirmed it!