FACT: The best way to track the most popular cell phone trends of the past 15 years is to look at what kind of cell phone Paris Hilton had during a specific time period.
Paris Hilton is essentially the Anna Wintour of cellphones. If there is a new cellphone out... then Paris Hilton has it. She is always ahead of the *Paris Hilton voice* hottest trends. Paris Hilton is, frankly, the cellphone *queen*.
Don't believe me? Then f*ck you (lol jk).... but let's do some archaeology or taxonomy or whatever it's called.
Our journey into Paris Hilton's cell phone-isms begins in...
June 2001: Paris Hilton leaves a Tommy Hilfiger party with her chunky-ass brick phone, which was basically the only option in 2001, and that shit probably cost like hundreds of dollars.
April 2002: The phone is less brick-ish but still chunky.
September 2002: This is important. This is the first appearance of a flip phone.
March 2003: The flip phone is now bedazzled. This was the start of a problematic trend of gluing random jewels to your cell phone. People who did this would soon find out how quickly that shit fell off.
January 2004: Paris and Nicole shamelessly pose with this flip phone at Sundance. There is so much going on in this photo. Goddamn.
June 2004: She still has that flip phone, but this time it isn't bedazzled. Those crystals def fell off.
September 2004: Paris leaves her book signing for Confessions of an Heiress proudly showing the slightly smaller flip phone she got at Sundance earlier that year. It's kind of an ugly phone, tbh.
Later September 2004: Well dang, we made it — the first appearance of a Sidekick! She's also double-fisting with her flip, clearly showing how torn she is about converting to a new phone.
July 2004: This picture is amazing because 1) It's at the Entourage premiere. 2) Kim Kardashian on a Sidekick. 3) The first appearance of what appears to be a BlackBerry! 4) Remember when Kim was Paris's assistant lol?
August 2004: Paris has a new, slightly alien-looking flip! Look how scared Tinkerbell is!
January 2005: Paris Hilton takes a primitive selfie with a fan.
Later January 2005: *Rings a bell* The Razr makes its grand debut!!!!
Still January 2005: Paris clutches her Razr. It should be noted that Paris's original Razr, contrary to popular belief, was NOT the pink color but actually the silver.
January of 2005 summed up in one picture:
Late January 2005: Paris goes back to her thick-ass BlackBerry with what appears to be a very 2005 Juicy Couture bag.
December 2005: Paris is back to the Sidekick. She is also wearing a "chick" hat and gas station sunglasses.
February 2006: And the BlackBerry is bedazzled!!!
Still February 2006: Still bedazzled. Still BlackBerry. Still showing that shit off.
March 2006: Back to the Sidekick.
June 2006: JK back to the BlackBerry.
September 2006: And now for a primitive, early BlackBerry selfie.
Late 2006: Paris and Kim Kardashian check their phones in the back of a car after promoting sparkling wine in a can in Germany.
November 2006: Paris goes retro-chic with a mini chunky-ass brick phone.
Later November 2006: Paris is over being vintage. She goes back to her BlackBerry.
December 2006: Pink Razr!!!
December 2008: Back to BlackBerry. Will she ever change? Can she kick the habit?
January 2009: Nope. Still BlackBerry.
October 2009: Same.
March 2010: She's taking pictures of the paparazzi on her BlackBerry. So 2010.
September 2010: I'm realizing Paris may have worked for BlackBerry. This may or may not be an ad for BlackBerry?
March 2011: The first appearance of the iPhone! Fucking finally!!!
Blah blah blah. Four years later...
January 2015: Paris has three phones (!!!!).
A 6+, 6, and a burner phone? Damn, girl!!!
Modern day: Paris has just one phone. It appears to be an iPhone 6. She takes selfies with monkeys.
AND THERE YOU HAVE IT! You just looked at 30+ pictures of Paris Hilton and her cell phone. Have a good life!