56 Completely True And Accurate Statements About Millennial Culture
"Netflix, stop judging me!"
1. Millennial culture is posting this picture on Facebook or Twitter and saying, "Netflix, please stop judging me."
2. It's saying "you just can't go out like you used to" and you're, like, 25.
3. That you can't go to bars anymore because "they're just too loud."
4. It's dreaming of owning a Nespresso machine, KitchenAid stand mixer, and a Vitamix (aka the kitchen trifecta).
5. It's having a Facebook feed that's 60% babies, 15% people doing color runs, and 25% racist aunts.
6. Millennial culture is saying that you "just can't do music festivals anymore."
7. Millennial culture is the chair.
8. It's about having long discussions with people about "cutting cable" but being worried that you "just can't do it."
9. It's about finally cutting cable and then getting your parent's cable login so you cheat the system anyway.
10. It's also about using your brother's girlfriend's friend's father's HBO Go login.
11. It's about "not knowing what to do" with your old CD collections at your parent's house.
12. It's about getting excited for rosé season, getting sick of rosé, and by the end of August saying you "just can't wait to drink red again."
13. Millennial culture is never paying shipping.
14. It's about coming into work on Mondays and when people ask you how your weekend was saying, "I watched 72 episodes of House Hunters."
15. It's about feeling good about yourself when someone asks you where you got something and you say, "Oh, on Etsy."
16. It's about spending a significant portion of your day explaining memes to loved ones.
17. It's about talking about how expensive couches are.
18. And it's about being complimented on your furniture and saying, "It's Ikea."
19. Millennial culture is always talking about this old Nokia phone.
20. It's hating the Chainsmokers but being powerless to resist their songs. "I hate them... but you gotta admit... it's a bop."
21. It's about getting angry at kids who were born in 1998 who identify as "'90s kids."
22. It's about looking at BuzzFeed lists and saying "THIS didn't actually come out in the '90s."
23. Basically it's about screaming, "WELL I ACTUALLY GREW UP IN THE '90s."
24. Millennial culture is being 28 and saying "I am so old" and secretly loving it.
25. It's saying "I'm definitely going to watch that" even though you know full well you have way too many shows to even THINK of starting something new.
26. It's judging someone based on whether their text bubbles are green or blue.
27. It's about being obsessed with Snapchat, then switching over to Instagram Stories when that came out and then having discussions about how you don't Snapchat anymore with friends.
28. It's posting on Facebook asking people "what credit cards have the best rewards."
29. It's rotating between the same three apps, constantly.
30. It's about closing Instagram, then opening it again six minutes later.
31. Millennial culture is always having the perfect comeback to baby boomers.
32. Millennial culture is making a Mother's Day post on Instagram even though the only social network your mom is on is Facebook.
33. It's getting anxiety over whether or not to swipe your card or insert it.
34. It's complaining about "the chip" with friends.
35. It's sending a screenshot of a text to the person you screenshotted and acting like you meant to do it.
36. It's having a camera roll full of screenshots in the first place.
37. It's about having the ability to pick the perfect avocado from the bunch, picking it out, and then having it still be brown and fucked-up inside.
38. It's about being terrified to make a phone call.
39. It's about receiving a phone call and saying "Why wouldn't they just text me???"
40. It's never ever listening to voicemails.
41. It's having VERY STRONG opinions about read receipts.
42. It's wanting a dog but getting a cat because you feel bad that the dog has to stay home alone all day.
43. Millennial culture is saying you'd love to get a tattoo but never actually doing it because you're "worried you might not like it someday."
44. Millennial culture is having a very strong opinion about candy corn.
45. It's about hating New Year's Eve.
46. It's about arguing with friends about liking or disliking Halloween.
47. It's about realizing how awful and racist some of your relatives are because of what they post on Facebook.
48. It's about having that one friend who always overshares on Facebook.
49. It's about going to bed at night and knowing exactly how many Advil you'll need in the morning because of your hangover.
50. Millennial culture is being legitimately shocked and upset when a fellow millennial says they haven't seen either: Hocus Pocus, Home Alone, or, god forbid, Mean Girls.
51. It's complaining about Facebook being full of engagement photos.
52. It's about making "some personal news!" announcements on Facebook.
53. It's saying you're on your way and then not leaving for another hour and a half.
54. It's taking a picture of your significant other eating eggs Benedict with the caption "Brunch with this one!"
55. It's about hating anyone who does that too.