1. “Yo Snoop, what up dawg … you know you have so much in common with Donald Trump? Trump’s ancestors were into real estate … and your ancestors were considered property.”
2. “Larry King is rockin’ the Armani diaper … Seth MacFarlane is sporting Victoria’s Secret … panties. And Snoop is wearing a Louis Vuitton condom … nah, I’m just kidding, he don’t wear condoms, you know that!”
3. “I’m not from New Jersey … I was born in Staten Island which is a New York borough … not to be confused with the burro Marlee Matlin blows onstage in Tijuana … “
4. “Trump is a good looking dude … if your eyes are like Marlee Matlin’s ears.”
5. “I like Larry King … he’s a playa … he actually wrote a book named ‘Mr. King Is Having a Heart Attack’ … he got that title from a hooker he was fucking.”
- Fyre Festival — organized by Ja Rule and billed as a luxury event — has turned into a total shitshow and people are livid 💸😱
- American Airlines gave workers a raise — to the highest pay in the industry — and Wall Street is furious. The company's stock has been falling since Thursday.
- The new leader of Marine Le Pen's National Front party in France has stepped down amid accusations of Holocaust denial.
- We found an average of about one false statement per day from Trump and his aides throughout the president's first 100 days in office 💯
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