1. “Yo Snoop, what up dawg … you know you have so much in common with Donald Trump? Trump’s ancestors were into real estate … and your ancestors were considered property.”
2. “Larry King is rockin’ the Armani diaper … Seth MacFarlane is sporting Victoria’s Secret … panties. And Snoop is wearing a Louis Vuitton condom … nah, I’m just kidding, he don’t wear condoms, you know that!”
3. “I’m not from New Jersey … I was born in Staten Island which is a New York borough … not to be confused with the burro Marlee Matlin blows onstage in Tijuana … “
4. “Trump is a good looking dude … if your eyes are like Marlee Matlin’s ears.”
5. “I like Larry King … he’s a playa … he actually wrote a book named ‘Mr. King Is Having a Heart Attack’ … he got that title from a hooker he was fucking.”
- From water jugs and dehydrated food, to faraday cages and unregistered vehicles, liberals are prepping for Donald Trump's presidency.
- Several people are trapped after an avalanche buried an Italian hotel Wednesday night following a succession of earthquakes.
- Federal agencies have put on a fireworks finale for the Obama administration, suing JP Morgan, Oracle, Fiat Chrysler, and Navient.
- Been wondering why your friends now look like weird glamorous cartoons? That's thanks to Chinese selfie app, Meitu. Say cheese 📸
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