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    19 Extremely Disappointing Facts About "Baby Shark"


    Last week, that "Baby Shark" song made its Billboard Hot 100 debut at #32.


    If you love yourself, you won't press play because it will be stuck in your head for 72 hours. But here's that song if you've never heard it before...

    View this video on YouTube

    The "song" is fine, whatever. But in the historic scheme of things, "Baby Shark" has already performed better on the charts than iconic classics of the past.


    Here is a list of those classics:

    1. "My Neck, My Back" by butt-munching queen, Khia, only peaked at #42


    Yes, your eyes aren't deceiving you. "B*by Sh*rk" out-peaked this gorgeous classic.

    2. "Dirrty" by Christina Aguilera peaked at #48

    "Dirty, filthy, nasty" >>> "doo doo doo doo doo doo."

    3. "Crush" by Mandy Moore peaked somewhere in the #50s

    The quintessential indie rock anthem charted worse than a baby shark song.

    4. Anything by Lindsay Lohan

    Literally the only song by Lindsay to chart is dad-hating anthem, "Confessions Of A Broken Heart" at #57.

    5. "Stuck" by Stacie Orrico peaked at #52

    JUSTICE. FOR. STACIE. MF. ORRICO. It's what all of the sharks (mommy, daddy, grandma, grandpa) would want.

    6. "Bugaboo" by Destiny's Child peaked at #33

    "Baby Shark" beat it by one spot. ONE SPOT.

    7. "Me Against The Music" by Britney and Madonna peaked at #35

    Two legends or four sharks? I choose legends.

    8. "Tearin' Up My Heart" by Nsync peaked at #59



    9. Arguably Backstreet Boys' best, "The Call," only made it to #52

    More sad.

    10. Criminally underrated Paris Hilton bop, "Nothing In This World," didn't chart at all!

    11. "This Is Me" by Dream made it to #39

    That's seven spots worse than "Baby Shark." SEVEN SPOTS.

    12. "Dancing On My Own" by Robyn didn't even chart

    *Gay gasp*

    13. Anything by the nuns of Sister Act

    Touchstone Pictures

    They literally pray for all living things including sharks. They deserved better.

    14. "What Dreams Are Made Of" by Italian popstar, Isabella, feat. little known local, Lizzie McGuire


    A cinematic classic.

    15. Bottoming anthem, "Dark Side" by Kelly Clarkson only peaked at #42

    Bottom-shaming at its finest.

    16. "Baby Come On Over" by Samantha Mumba peaked at #49

    The "Baby Shark" people wish they could be half as iconic as Miss Mumba.

    17. All the instrumentals from "Titanic" but especially "Rose" and "Southhampton"

    Sony Classical

    They should have all easily gone top 10.

    18. The commercial for the "Pure Moods" soundtrack

    View this video on YouTube

    The most important commercial of our time.

    19. And "Come Clean" by Hilary Duff peaked at #35


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