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19 Brutally Honest Confessions From A Waitrose Employee

There's more to it than coffee and quinoa.

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2. But we do hate it when you mispronounce quinoa.

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It’s keen-wa, not kwin-oa.

3. We tidy the shop twice a day and it's the absolute worst because customers are messy.

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You have not known suffering until you’ve made an aisle of crisps look "pretty".

4. In fact, we can’t go a shift without finding somebody’s empty coffee cup festering on a shelf.

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You got the coffee for free. Please don’t make me touch your dirty cup.

6. Yes, we get 25% discount in John Lewis. Yes, you can probably borrow it.

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Ask nicely, though.

7. We find those "temporarily unavailable" stickers on everything when we get home.

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Seriously: everything.

8. Working in food retail at Christmas is literal hell on earth.

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Unimaginable numbers of customers cram into the store, and stacking shelves on Christmas Eve doesn't exactly help the Christmas spirit. The only silver lining is the overtime pay.

9. Even the poshest Waitrose customers become savages in the Christmas queues.

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Those hidden orange Christmas puddings by Heston sell out pretty fast, and they cause a frenzy.

10. But we do get armed with chocolate to keep customers calm.

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Handing these bad boys out in the queue really does work.

11. We spend a lot of time trying to look busy when customers are in our way.

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This often happens when customers decide to have a 20-minute debate directly in front of the aisle we want to put something into.

14. We don't understand the bread selection screen on the checkout either.

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What even is a grande rustic?

17. We don’t have to clock in and out for our breaks, which means we always take longer than we should. But we can't be blamed when the food in the dining room is this good.

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19. And finally: We can't promise not to judge you if you only come in for your free coffee.

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At least buy something.

Note: This post was written under a pseudonym.

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