1. Because this should only happen in "Mortal Kombat."
2. Because look how strong the guy that LOST is.
3. Because this was once a nose.
4. Because your life might end before the fight does.
5. Because this is an uppercut FROM A FOOT.
6. BECAUSE NOSES DON'T FUCKING LOOK LIKE THIS!!
7. Because this is how they celebrate maiming you.
8. Because Chuck Liddell is not actually giving you free Miller Lite.
9. Because haha um, no.
10. Because honestly, getting kicked in the face really sucks.
11. Because they don't stop fucking punching you!
12. Because blood is meant to stay inside your body.
13. Because you don't understand, they kick you in the face ALL THE TIME.
14. Because you're an adult and you make your own bedtime.
15. Because you don't want your face to look like this.
16. Because you cherish your memories.
17. Because the crane kick from Karate Kid is real.
18. Because this isn't that bad.
19. Because this guy's head got bounced like a basketball.
20. Because you should never go within 10 feet of someone that can do this.
21. Because you like your leg in one piece — like God intended.
22. Even in Friends — NOOOOO.
