26 Reasons You Should Live In Fear Of Google

The machines are taking over.

1. They know exactly what you do when you’re alone…

2. And they shame you for it.

3. They seem to know life’s unsolved mysteries.

4. And they show you things no one should ever see.

5. They think they’re above the law.

6. They know celebrity heights down to the centimeter.

7. They can decipher songs from pure gibberish…

8. Find artists from random references…

9. And figure out movies from random plot references.

10. They scare adorable children right off their bicycles.

11. And suggest traveling over 400 miles on a jet ski!

WHICH CANNOT BE SAFE.

12. They suggest highly illegal shortcuts.

13. They openly mock love.

14. Publicly shame you during your lowest moments…

15. And they question your hygiene.

16. They give snarky answers to obvious questions…

17. And try to entrap you with simple math.

18. They employ Stormtroopers.

19. And ask questions that you NEVER wanted to think about.

20. They’ll chastise you…

21. Troll your business…

22. Haunt your dreams…

23. Drive you insane…

24. Drive you to the bottle…

25. Confuse the living crap out of you…

26. And then, when you’re ready to give up, they’ll TOTALLY REDEEM THEMSELVES.

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