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    30 Reasons You Should Drink The Tom Brady Haterade

    Seriously, there's plenty to go around.

    1. These ads for Stetson cologne.

    Stetson

    2. His weird affinity for velvet jackets.

    Allen Kee / Getty

    3. Just look at him dance!

    4. Because he STILL can't get over slipping to the sixth round.

    Dude, you've won three Super Bowls! Stop crying about the stupid draft! I'm pretty sure it worked out for you.

    5. When he looked like this...

    Fox / Via towleroad.com

    Former 49ers coach Steve Mariucci called him "gangly" and said he "looked like he had never seen a weight room."

    6. And ran like this...

    This might be the clumsiest shuttle run I've ever seen.

    7. This is his wife...

    Calzedonia

    8. Her name is Gisele. You might have heard of her.

    9. She makes even more money than him.

    Twitter: @darrenrovell

    Talk about a literal embarrassment of riches.

    10. And bitches about his teammates.

    View this video on YouTube

    youtube.com

    11. They go to fancy parties...

    Jamie McCarthy / Getty
    Larry Busacca / Getty
    Stephen Lovekin / Getty

    12. Where I assume they drink champagne and eat shrimp.

    Stephen Lovekin / Getty
    Dimitrios Kambouris / Getty
    Andrew H. Walker / Getty

    13. This is one of their houses... it has a moat.

    Roger Davies / Architectural Digest
    Roger Davies / Architectural Digest

    14. Because he's corny.

    View this video on YouTube

    youtube.com

    15. He celebrates 10-yard runs like an asshole...

    16. He's frequently the coverboy for obnoxious men's magazines.

    Vman

    17. He wears a Tom Brady hat ALL THE TIME, and that's pretty obnoxious too.

    BJJ/FAMEFLYNET
    Fame Pictures

    18. Because his work out clothes are just plain silly.

    http://WG/MP/PR/DS-ISM/MORE/Flynetonline.com
    Fame Pictures
    Fame Pictures

    19. Because he once went to Kevin Federline's listening party.

    Flynet Pictures, Inc.
    Flynet Pictures, Inc.

    20. Because he made a cameo on Entourage.

    View this video on YouTube

    youtube.com

    21. Because he checked out this girl's butt.

    22. This hat and facial expression.

    Patriot Pics/FAMEFLYNET

    23. Because his hair once looked like this...

    Rick Stewart / Getty

    24. And like this.

    Reis/Fame Pictures
    Reis/Fame Pictures

    25. Because he's friends with David Beckham and that's just too much handsome for one friendship.

    Fame Pictures

    26. He's a spokesman for Ugg! Ugg for Christ's sake!

    View this video on YouTube

    youtube.com

    27. Because according to Forbes he has a 6.4 handicap.

    Donald Miralle / Getty
    Donald Miralle / Getty

    28. Because unless you're a Giants fan he's probably made your life a living hell.

    Jim Rogash / Getty

    29. Because the handsome bastard makes it look too easy.

    Rick Stewart / Getty

    30. Because this is me in real life — every Sunday.

    View this video on YouTube

    youtube.com