21 Reasons You Should Always Have Low Expectations

The lower the better.

Posted on September 02, 2015, 21:58 GMT

Matt Kiebus

BuzzFeed Staff

1. Because not all watermelons are created equal:

2. Because not every birthday party comes with cake:

3. Because seasons are never as magical as we anticipate:

4. Because sometimes fortune cookies are bullshit:

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5. Because not everyone cares about your birthday:

6. Because variety packs are lies:

7. Because there is more than one Magic Mike:

8. Because college isn't always the time of your life:

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9. Because this person exists:

10. Because sometimes you don't want to go to the end of the rainbow:

11. Because Taco Bell will occasionally crush your dreams:

12. Because vending machines are dickheads:

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13. Because late-night TV isn't always what you're expecting:

14. Because not all cheese lives up to its expectations:

15. Because sharks aren't always that tough:

16. Because detours don't always get you where you want to go:

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17. Because French toast doesn't always satisfy your appetite:

18. Because Michael Jordan is a pretty common name:

19. Because not all surprises are good:

20. Because ice cream melts:

21. And because Santa doesn't really exist:

Omg It's Prime Day!