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    Posted on Mar 27, 2014

    19 Questions Girls Always Ask Guys With Mustaches

    "Are you being ironic?"

    1. "When are you shaving that?"

    You're dead to me. Please get out of my line of sight.

    Ron Swanson — Mustache Owner

    2. "Are you allowed near schools or playgrounds?"

    MGM Warner Brothers / Via

    Shut your mouth, or I'll shut it for you.

    Shaft — Mustache Owner

    3. "Dad?"

    Paramount Pictures / Via

    Nope, but I know your mom.

    Eddie Murphy — Mustache Owner

    4. "Where's the rest of your beard?"

    20th Century Fox / Via

    This is a life choice.

    Robert Redford — Mustache Owner

    5. "Are you a cop?"

    Warner Brothers / Via

    Yep, and I'm getting too old for this shit.

    Roger Murtaugh — Mustache Owner

    6. "Do you drive a van?"

    Buena Vista Pictures / Via

    Yep, and I'm gonna run your face over with it.

    Bill Murray — Mustache Owner

    7. "Are you in porn?"

    Orion Pictures / Via

    Why do you ask? Because of my incredibly large penis?

    Ron Burgundy — Mustache Owner

    8. "Does it itch?"

    Paramount Pictures / Via

    Nope, does this?

    Sean Connery — Mustache Owner

    9. "So is this an ironic thing?"

    Andrew D. Bernstein / Getty

    Does it look like I'm laughing?

    Keith Hernandez — Mustache Owner

    10. "Do you get food stuck in it?"

    Gramercy Pictures / Via

    Do you want my foot stuck in your ass?

    Sam Elliot — Mustache Owner

    11. "What actually is a mustache ride?"

    Wouldn't you like to know?

    Tom Selleck — Mustache Owner

    12. "Does it tickle?"

    All night long...

    Lionel Richie — Mustache Owner

    13. "Do you think I could pull one off?"

    The Weinstein Company / Via

    Ehhhh. No.

    Brad Pitt — Mustache Owner

    14. "How long have you been growing it?"

    I was born with it.

    David Wooderson — Mustache Owner

    15. "Do you live in [insert hipster neighborhood]?"

    Columbia Pictures / Via

    [Takes deep breath] [Exhales] [Walks away]

    Russell Hammond — Mustache Owner

    16. "Do you ever get laid?"

    What do you think?

    Billy Dee Williams — Mustache Owner

    17. "Aren't you embarrassed?"

    MGM / Via


    Ryan Gosling — Mustache Owner

    18. "How do people take you seriously?"

    Keystone / Hulton Archive / Getty
    Keystone / Hulton Archive / Getty

    Bitch, please.

    Martin Luther King Jr & Albert Einstein — Mustache Owners

    19. "But seriously, why?"

    Orion Pictures / Via

    Because I wake up in the morning and feel like this.

    Burt Reynolds — Mustache Owner