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19 Questions Girls Always Ask Guys With Mustaches

"Are you being ironic?"

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1. "When are you shaving that?"

You're dead to me. Please get out of my line of sight.

Ron Swanson — Mustache Owner

2. "Are you allowed near schools or playgrounds?"

MGM Warner Brothers / Via

Shut your mouth, or I'll shut it for you.

Shaft — Mustache Owner

3. "Dad?"

Paramount Pictures / Via

Nope, but I know your mom.

Eddie Murphy — Mustache Owner

4. "Where's the rest of your beard?"

20th Century Fox / Via

This is a life choice.

Robert Redford — Mustache Owner

5. "Are you a cop?"

Warner Brothers / Via

Yep, and I'm getting too old for this shit.

Roger Murtaugh — Mustache Owner

6. "Do you drive a van?"

Buena Vista Pictures / Via

Yep, and I'm gonna run your face over with it.

Bill Murray — Mustache Owner

7. "Are you in porn?"

Orion Pictures / Via

Why do you ask? Because of my incredibly large penis?

Ron Burgundy — Mustache Owner

8. "Does it itch?"

Paramount Pictures / Via

Nope, does this?

Sean Connery — Mustache Owner

9. "So is this an ironic thing?"

Does it look like I'm laughing? Keith Hernandez — Mustache Owner
Andrew D. Bernstein / Getty

Does it look like I'm laughing?

Keith Hernandez — Mustache Owner

10. "Do you get food stuck in it?"

Gramercy Pictures / Via

Do you want my foot stuck in your ass?

Sam Elliot — Mustache Owner

11. "What actually is a mustache ride?"

Wouldn't you like to know?

Tom Selleck — Mustache Owner

12. "Does it tickle?"

All night long...

Lionel Richie — Mustache Owner

13. "Do you think I could pull one off?"

The Weinstein Company / Via

Ehhhh. No.

Brad Pitt — Mustache Owner

14. "How long have you been growing it?"

I was born with it.

David Wooderson — Mustache Owner

15. "Do you live in [insert hipster neighborhood]?"

Columbia Pictures / Via

[Takes deep breath] [Exhales] [Walks away]

Russell Hammond — Mustache Owner

16. "Do you ever get laid?"

What do you think?

Billy Dee Williams — Mustache Owner

17. "Aren't you embarrassed?"

MGM / Via


Ryan Gosling — Mustache Owner

18. "How do people take you seriously?"

Keystone / Hulton Archive / Getty
Keystone / Hulton Archive / Getty

Bitch, please.

Martin Luther King Jr & Albert Einstein — Mustache Owners

19. "But seriously, why?"

Orion Pictures / Via

Because I wake up in the morning and feel like this.

Burt Reynolds — Mustache Owner

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