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29 People Who Know How Much Pizza Matters To Planet Earth

Pizza is life.

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1.

"Mom, can you eat pizza in the bathtub?" My kid, just asking all the right questions.

2.

On the 5th day God created the birds and all the living creatures in the oceans and then he was like, "Can we get pizza? It's Friday."

3.

Pizza guys should be allowed to have ambulance sirens on their cars.

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4.

i told my friend to order a pizza and they ordered two vegetable toppings on it. nobody has ever disrespected me like this.

5.

order pizza is always the answer hungry? order pizza lost a loved one? order pizza getting divorced? order pizza 2+2? order pizza

6.

The easiest way to kill me would be to put poison on an old piece of pizza and leave it out literally anywhere I might find it.

7.

To the baby crying in the super market because he picked up a frozen pizza and can't eat it immediately: same

8.

The fingerprint scanner on my phone didn't recognize me cuz I have pizza grease on my fingers but c'mon that's a dead giveaway

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9.

Friday Night Popular kid *goes to a party* Me *Lays in bed half naked, watches 3 full seasons on Netflix, stuffs my face with Pizza Rolls*

10.

Me: Yes, I'd like to order a large pizza- Hubs: Mmm, that sounds good. Me: make it 2 large pizzas...

11.

"Peyton, you're basically the most famous player in America's #1 sport, so you can get any endorsement you w--" "PAPA JOHNS PIZZA!!!!!!!!!"

12.

when your doctor tells you that you need to eat more pizza

13.

Major breakthrough found out what causes hiccups, eating 3 pieces of pizza in under 15 seconds

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14.

when you know you shouldn't order that pizza but it's buy one & get one free night

15.

*attempts to flirt* hi are you pizza cause I love pizza bye

16.

Blot your pizza with a napkin so I know to hate you.

17.

kinda wanna workout kinda wanna eat pizza kinda wanna nap for five days kinda wanna get my life together by 3 on wednesday idk

18.

*Orders pizza* What a night *Phone buzzes* And a text? Killing it *checks phone* ok that was the pizza confirmation but still cruising

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19.

my stages of drunk are: 1. "I'm not even buzzed yet." 2. *sitting in the wet grass somewhere with my shoes off eating Pizza*

20.

How am I expected to trust my gut when at 2am it tells me to eat two slices of pizza, a cupcake and an orange Sunkist?

21.

Sex is like pizza: WOMEN SHOULDN'T JUDGE IF IT COMES TOO FAST. IT COULD STILL BE PERFECTLY GOOD PIZZA!

22.

I want a pizza. Thinkin about calling Hugh Grant....'cause that guy DELIVERS EVERY TIME.

23.

If I eat 2 pieces of pizza I feel full and happy. If I eat 4, I feel sick. I always eat 4.

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24.

Can't decide what to get married in: a tailored suit, a tux, or a fat suit streaked with pizza sauce?

25.

Looked in the mirror happy for not eating 7 slices of pizza "you knew 5 was enough Adam, and I'm proud of you". Now I'm remembering I ate 8.

26.

Ordered room service last night. Got two plates of nachos, two orders of wings, a pizza, and a cheese burger. Passed out before it got here

27.

porn is so unrealistic who would have sex while the pizza was getting cold so stupid

28.

Sex is a lot like pizza. They're both not very good at Sbarro.

29.

me: *spends $200 at grocery store* *orders a pizza as soon as I get home*

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