2.It seems to have gone missing and in its absence, he has decided to grow a goatee.
3.He's been asking around and no one seems to have any clue where he may have left it.
4.And without it, he's made some incredibly rash decisions with his facial hair.
5.He's confused and reportedly thinks his Fu Manchu is "pretty righteous."
6.He's lonely and scared, so please return it as soon as possible.
7.Before it becomes too late.
ALSO if you happen to find his confidence, dignity, right arm, common sense, or his playbook, that would be MUCH appreciated. Please return whatever you find to the guy kicking a can around the Jets practice facility parking lot.