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    Oct 27, 2015

    29 Hilarious Tweets About Going To The Gym

    Pump some iron or nap? Nap.


    Just farted at the gym and stopped to make sure everyone around me had headphones on. #theydid #dignityintact


    I'm a real gym rat (i go there at night and eat their garbage)


    Well, I’m heading to the gym. I mean I’m going to watch TV standing up while I slowly move my legs.


    I know we're at the gym, dude, but panting heavily at the urinal is always gonna be creepy.


    I've taken shits at 4 branches of the gym I belong to and worked out at one in 2012.


    If a gym has 75 treadmills, 1 is being used, what do you do? You go home because it's your favorite one being used Math is easy


    "How to Save a Life" just came on the speakers at the gym, and I just about started crying in front of hundreds of strangers


    when i die please drag my body to the gym for one last shamelessly desperate selfie


    [huge tough muscle guy drops his barbell at the gym] HIM: whoopsy daisy ME: what'd u just say HIM: uhh i said shit fuck balls ME: thought so


    *gets rude look from guy in front of me at gym* *gets off treadmill and waits for my own*


    number one. it is my right as a gold's gym member to bring barbells into the toilet stall and get my extra reps. number two. its not cheatig


    skipped neck day at the gym this week so i'm making up for it by screaming my burrito ingredients at the Chipotle employees


    theyre playing Seal's "Kiss From A Rose" at the gym & everyones crying. one guys lighting candles & offering backrubs "cuz we deserve it"


    Waldo asked me to spot him at the gym. Couldn't do it.


    When traveling, there's nothing like a high-end, state-of-the-art hotel gym to pretend you've worked out in.


    no joke, the 2 treadmills to the right of me at the gym are occupied by a girlfriend & boyfriend angrily breaking up while jogging


    Apparently there's a big difference between exercise and exorcize and now I'm banned from the gym.


    That face a baby makes when you feed him a lemon wedge, but it's me at the gym trying to bench 85 lbs.


    BENEFITS OF A HOME GYM •no fees •no crowds •24 hours •crying allowed •clean towels •the crying •somebody tell me why I can't stop crying


    [gym] Me loudly: one day I'll be so strong [makes cut throat motion to member of staff] I'll cancel my membership & just keep coming anyway.


    How long are you supposed to rest in between sets at the gym? Like 6 months?


    (vomits while dioing pushups at the gym and resists every attempt from professional trainers to stop me from continuing)


    It's sad to walk by a gym and see all those fit dudes who just let their dad bods go


    Just had to ask the guy at my gym's front desk to open my Powerade.


    "This is the body of Christ" "Amen" "These are the abs of Christ" "Hell yeah" "And these are Christ's sick fuckin glutes" [Jesus at the Gym]


    *incredible babe walks up to me at the gym* "I was watching you from over there, that was incredible shadow boxing!" "There was a bee"


    I can't find the part of this gym where the exercise stuff is, so I'm just gonna get a smoothie and take a nice shower.


    Man, my gym is really crowded today, I imagine.


    I go to the gym so infrequently that I still call it the James.

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