Definitive Proof That Andrea Pirlo’s Hair Is God’s Defining Achievement

Those who don’t believe in a higher power have never seen the Azzurri star’s locks.

1. Meet Andrea Pirlo, the key to Italy’s World Cup hopes…

Valerio Pennicino / Getty

2. And reigning world champion in awesome fuckin’ hair.

Claudio Villa / Getty

3. From a young age the world knew the Italian midfielder was something special…

Phil Cole / Getty

Stuart Franklin / Getty

 

4. Blessed with a gift that no average man possesses…

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5. Andrea Pirlo was blessed with first class tresses of brown gold sent from the heavens.

Claudio Villa / Getty

6. The kind of hair that magically looks this flawless in the rain.

Valerio Pennicino / Getty

7. The kind of hair that follows him around the pitch like a lion’s mane…

Valerio Pennicino / Getty

8. And NEVER gets in his eyes.

Giuseppe Bellini / Getty

Valerio Pennicino / Getty

 

9. The kind of hair that looks impossibly perfect after long flights…

Claudio Villa / Getty

Claudio Villa / Getty

 

10. And effortlessly cool after long bus rides.

Claudio Villa / Getty

11. “Who me?”

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12. Yeah, you…

Claudio Villa / Getty

Claudio Villa / Getty

 

13. Pirlo’s hair oozes more sex appeal than a Fellini movie…

Claudio Villa / Getty

Claudio Villa / Getty

 

14. And yet it remains humble…

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15. Because little kids grow up wanting to BE that hair…

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16. Teammates like Mario Balotelli toss coins in the Trevi wishing for Pirlo’s luscious brown locks.

Claudio Villa / Getty

Claudio Villa / Getty

 

17. Popes even turn green with envy when they encounter Pirlo’s hair in all its majesty.

Claudio Villa / Getty

18. To touch Pirlo’s hair is to touch the heavens itself.

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Claudio Villa / Getty

 

19. But with great hair comes even greater responsibility…

Claudio Villa / Getty

Kevork Djansezian / Getty

 

20. An obligation to look and act fuckin’ awesome at all times…

Claudio Villa / Getty

21. A duty to grow a beard so beautiful that it’s almost hard to look at.

Valerio Pennicino / Getty

22. Pirlo’s hair inspires…

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23. It shines gloriously in the midday sun…

Claudio Villa / Getty

24. It floats around the pitch, seemingly disregarding gravity’s laws…

Giuseppe Bellini / Getty

25. It’s surpasses the beauty of the Italian Renaissance on a bad day…

Marco Luzzani / Getty

Claudio Villa / Getty

 

26. It is in one word: PERFECTION.

Valerio Pennicino / Getty

Oh yeah, he’s not too shabby at football either…

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