22 Reasons Costco Is America's Greatest Achievement
Costco = 'Murica.
They brought this 93-inch stuffed bear into our lives.
They don't judge when you buy the entire freakin' barrel.
They know that staying hydrated shouldn't cost $3.25.
They encourage you to test out their products.
They even let you test the softness of their toilet paper!
They let you buy candy in cereal boxes.
And they provide laughs when you're buying Pampers by the 80-pack.
They provide a judgment-free zone.
They help you get through your all-nighters.
They care about optimists...
...just as much as they care about pessimists.
It's a place where an old man can buy his vodka and condoms and be greeted with a smile...
And a child can fulfill his dreams of chillin' on a recliner, with a fountain soda, five straws, and his Nintendo DS:
They bake enough pies to feed small countries.
They clarify that their cabinets are not gateways to Narnia:
And they always thank you for your cooperation.
They let you buy Christmas products in August...
And they help you find ways to spend that Christmas bonus come December!
They offer everything from tire service to hot dogs:
They even offer double-barreled shotguns full of tequila:
And most important, they have everything you'll ever need...
...in sizes that are completely unnecessary.
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