31 Things All Kids Of High School Teachers Know To Be True
If you want to watch Romeo and Juliet, I've got five different versions.
You haven't been to the local shopping centre or Nando's in years, because you're so afraid of running into your parents' students.
Occasionally, their pupils have actually turned up at your house. Uninvited.
And come summer term, ultra-keen kids try to ruin your weekend lie-ins by insisting on extra tuition.
They've trumped you on Christmas cards and presents EVERY year.
They're your worst Facebook troll.
And because they spend all day hanging out with youths, they think they're down with the kids.
Their idea of organised fun is designed to make you competitive AF.
Your social cachet at school rose dramatically around exam time.
Your DVD collection is a library of set text adaptations.
All your notebooks are stolen school exercise books.
In fact, many of your possessions belong to various high school departments.
You probably played teachers when you were kids because taking registers was the dream.
You were bribed with promises of gold stars around exams...
And they had more overt bribing techniques designed to limit their own workload.
They use their terrifying teacher voice when you fuck up...
Or their angry teacher face.
They've always got a zillion red pens in their pockets when you need something to write with.
Everyone expects you to ace their subject.
You get all the goss on staff room scandal, most of which you never wanted to know.
On the plus side, they own every revision and essay shortcut so you never suffered from coursework sweats.
They will continue to shit all over your academic attempts, even at university.
They will find ANY excuse to talk about school and teaching every day. Even when they've retired.
You become a terrible, pedantic person...like them.
Doing jack shit at the weekend just isn't permitted.
And if they're marking, everyone in the house has to live in silence.
And just remember that every teacher and every pupil in their school knows EVERYTHING about you.
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