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31 Things All Kids Of High School Teachers Know To Be True

If you want to watch Romeo and Juliet, I've got five different versions.

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1. You haven't been to the local shopping centre or Nando's in years, because you're so afraid of running into your parents' students.

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In my day we avoided teachers in public, and that's the way it should be.

2. Occasionally, their pupils have actually turned up at your house. Uninvited.

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We all get that off-duty teachers are a particularly fascinating species, but still.

3. And come summer term, ultra-keen kids try to ruin your weekend lie-ins by insisting on extra tuition.

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Like, didn't you have enough school during the week?

4. They've trumped you on Christmas cards and presents EVERY year.

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But on the plus side, chocolate and Echo Falls for all!

5. They're your worst Facebook troll.

6. You can't bullshit someone who solely works with bullshitters.

I hate the fact that my mum is a teacher. She knows all the tricks in the book. I cant even lie and get away with it.

7. And because they spend all day hanging out with youths, they think they're down with the kids.

8. Their idea of organised fun is designed to make you competitive AF.

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NEVER PLAY SCRABBLE WITH ENGLISH TEACHERS OR THEIR FAMILIES.

9. Your social cachet at school rose dramatically around exam time.

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Ain't no party like a past papers party.

10. Your DVD collection is a library of set text adaptations.

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Nothing like a bit of Friday night Dr Faustus fun.

11. All your notebooks are stolen school exercise books.

While everyone else in your uni seminar is writing in lovely Moleskines, you're still using the extra-large-lined jotters your mum nicked from the year 7 cupboard.
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While everyone else in your uni seminar is writing in lovely Moleskines, you're still using the extra-large-lined jotters your mum nicked from the year 7 cupboard.

12. In fact, many of your possessions belong to various high school departments.

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13. You probably played teachers when you were kids because taking registers was the dream.

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14. You were bribed with promises of gold stars around exams...

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...which conveniently stopped just before GCSEs.

15. And they had more overt bribing techniques designed to limit their own workload.

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16. They use their terrifying teacher voice when you fuck up...

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"CAN YOU EXPLAIN WHY..." No, sorry, please don't punish me.

17. Or their angry teacher face.

18. They've always got a zillion red pens in their pockets when you need something to write with.

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Every shopping list sounds like rage.

19. Everyone expects you to ace their subject.

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Just because they're good at maths, doesn't mean we're also walking calculators.

20. But it's a special kind of hell when they also work in your school.

Drawbacks of your mum working at your secondary school is when your old teachers come to your house, Tomorrow it's my AS History teachers

Our prayers and thoughts go out to you, comrades.

21. You become an honorary member of the teachers' union.

i hate it when people say teachers are overpaid... my mum is a teacher and she works so fucking hard you bunch of pricks

Word.

22. You get all the goss on staff room scandal, most of which you never wanted to know.

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Don't even mention the words "stationery cupboard".

23. There's just no escape from school and the horrors that come with it.

Love that my mum is a teacher but she really doesn't need to bring home the exam paper after every exam I do 😭😭

24. On the plus side, they own every revision and essay shortcut so you never suffered from coursework sweats.

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God bless York Notes.

25. They will continue to shit all over your academic attempts, even at university.

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Getting them to proofread essays comes at your own emotional peril.

26. They will find ANY excuse to talk about school and teaching every day. Even when they've retired.

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Others got a 13-year stretch. We're on a life sentence.

27. You become a terrible, pedantic person...like them.

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Unapologetic.

28. Doing jack shit at the weekend just isn't permitted.

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"Lazy Sunday" is a phrase that sends shivers down the spines of all high school teachers.

29. And if they're marking, everyone in the house has to live in silence.

30. Their jokes make your dad sound funny...

The kind of jokes you get when your mum is a science teacher: 'Did you know oxygen and magnesium are going out? OMg!'

...unless your dad's a teacher ofc.

31. And just remember that every teacher and every pupil in their school knows EVERYTHING about you.

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Your GCSE results? Yep, they all know what you got.