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    22 Things All Former Social Smokers Know To Be True

    Welcome to a world of social oblivion...and health.

    1. In your mind, you used to be the Audrey Hepburn of club smoking areas, lightly puffing away.

    Paramount Pictures / Getty Images

    2. But now you're a reformed character who's either left alone inside to look after everyone's drinks...

    That awkward moment when all your mates go toilet or for a fag and you're left at the table looking after the drinks and bags πŸ™‹πŸ™ˆ

    3. ...or forced to freeze outside, surrounded by temptation because no one wants to sit in a smoke-free zone.

    4. When you smoked socially, you never really thought you and your mates smoked that much.

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    You were fine.

    5. But in retrospect, you know you got through more than you liked to think.

    6. Pubs and parties reawaken the memory of just how well a cig went with a beer or glass of wine.

    7. But no one will be sympathetic to your plight because you weren't a real smoker in the first place.

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    No sympathy for you and your abstinence woes.

    8. Despite that, your friends are always trying to tempt you back to the dark side with sly ciggy offers.

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    9. And if you do ~accidentally~ give in to drunken temptation, you spend the next day riddled with unparalleled guilt.

    10. You used to get a thrill treating yourself to the odd packet of 20, after weeks of bumming cigs off others.

    11. But now you can buy yourself actual treats because you don't literally burn money.

    12. You used to despise all those former smokers who banged on about the ills of smoking.

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    There's nothing worse than a preachy convert – fact.

    13. Now you itch to tell your smokey mates to jack it in.

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    But nobody really wants to be that guy, do they?

    14. You kinda hate yourself for how piously healthy you feel these days.

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    15. Your hair also now smells of shampoo rather than a bottomless ashtray.

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    16. But that still doesn't make up for all that smoking area banter you're missing out on.

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    Because everyone knows that's where all the best conversations go down.

    17. In fact, once you stop smoking, it can feel like you're in social exile.

    If all your pals smoke, that is.

    18. In socially awkward situations, you no longer have the old "Sorry, I'm going outside for a smoke" excuse.

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    Now you actually have to deal with shit like an adult rather than hiding outside.

    19. And you can't rely on a mutual smoking habit to make new friends.

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    20. But you know now that asking for a lighter is not an acceptable chat-up line or opening gambit in a conversation.

    You asking for a cigie and my lighter... would you like my lungs too?

    21. Because actually, social smoking isn't that popular with other people.

    I hate social smokers! Especially those that steal my cigarettes #IAmNotACoOp

    Any habit that relies largely on other people's generosity is never going to be that popular.

    22. Smoking was fun but those days are done – and good riddance.

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