illustrations by Lyla Ribot / © BuzzFeed
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Check all the things you’ve done in the past month:
Dodged food flying toward your headFound a missing sock in record timeUsed your unknown parkour skills at the playgroundCaught a falling item with easeCrept through the halls without waking your childrenExperienced flying as you sped through the grocery storeUsed your stealth moves to sneak veggies into snacktimeManeuvered your way through a dangerous (toy-covered) fieldFixed things with virtually no toolsHeld the steadiest hand while removing the crustsCrafted your own gadgets for everyday useStopped a cookie thief behind you without lookingMade everything all right just in the nick of timeUsed quick reflexes to deflect a glob of falling ketchupMuttered to yourself, “I’m getting too old for this.”Kept your “real adult you” identity a secret to those who admire youPrevented danger before it could happenUsed your strength to carry both the groceries and the kids insideReceived groans at the delivery of your perfect one-linerHeard distant cries from far awayUsed night vision in your kitchen to grab a snackStopped time to accomplish everything in the morningsFought for those who need your protectionDiffused a “bomb” (aka a sick kid in your car) just in timeMastered the art of disguise to spy on your kidsLearned and used multiple languages when communicating with your kidsDelivered an elegant and inspiring monologueMade the world a better place for everyone in it
