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5 Things, As A Child, You Thought Would Be A Lot More Common Than They Have Actually Been

And yet, I have no idea how to handle any of the things I actually needed preparing for.

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1. Quicksand


I blame just about every children's author for this one. I don't think I can remember an adventure series that didn't feature someone sinking waist deep into quicksand.

Thankfully, those stories taught all of us what to do if we ever find ourselves sinking into the ground - lucky since that's a situation we're never, ever going to actually find ourselves in.

2. Grabbing onto a log and then realising it's a crocodile


I don't know why, but this always seemed like a real and ever-present threat as a child. Despite the fact I live thousands of miles away from the nearest crocodile, (bar those in zoos) whenever I played in any body of water larger than a pond I made sure to scour it for log-crocodiles beforehand.

3. And in that spirit: Sitting on a rock and then realising it's a bear/ rhino/ other scary animal


I distinctly remember reading a story that described how, after sitting down for several minutes, the protagonist realised the rock he was sitting on was a bit soft and furry (although the author probably put it a lot more eloquently than I just did.) Begs the question though, I wonder how long a bear would let me sit on it before it tore me apart?

Also, I'm not sure why you would buy whatever the hell that picture is advertising, but it's making me pretty uncomfortable

4. Treasure maps


I remember a time when characters were constantly finding intriguing notes and old maps in books. The most interesting thing I've ever found hidden in a book was a twig. I checked to see if it was a magic wand, but it wasn't.

Well, that and adventure obviously, because reading is what?

5. Love


Not to end on a downer, but love is always nice and simple in children's stories and if it is difficult, it still resolves itself in the end.

If we can't have a real life Prince Charming, can we at least have hair that stays as perfect as those Disney Land actors' hair is?

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