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48 Things That Would Be Totally Different If "Friends" Were Set In Australia

"I'll be there for youse."

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1. The show would be called Mates not Friends.

2. Rachel would be called Racho, Monica would be called Monnerz, Chandler would be called Chando, Phoebe would be called Phoebz.

3. Joey would still be Joey.

4. And Ross would be called Fuckface.

5. Central Perk would be a wanky hipster café because where else are you going to get quality coffee in Australia?

6. They'd all be coffee snobs too.

7. Rachel would work at Myer instead of Bloomingdales.

8. They would live in terraces next to each other.

9. But they would all need really high paying jobs because rent is fucked.

10. No one would ever own their apartment or move out and buy a house because lol, Australian housing prices.

11. Marcel the monkey would most definitely be a quokka.

12. Instead of a chicken and a duck, Chandler and Joey would have a cockatoo and a kookaburra.

13. Joey would want to land a role on Neighbours but would continually get cast in The Reject Shop ads.

14. Eventually he would land a spot on Neighbours as the guy who breaks up Dr Karl and Susan for the bajillionth time.

15. There would be an entire episode dedicated to really shitty Wi-Fi.

16. Ross and Rachel would get heaps drunk and draw on each other in Bris-Vegas.

17. Monica would start paying her dues for an office catering company that gets big after a viral Menulog deal.

18. Then she'd land her dream job working at Matt Moran's restaurant Aria.

19. Janice's catchphrase would be, "YOU'RE SHITTING ME."

20. And she would be exactly like Effie Stephanides.

21. Ross would work in some boring public service museum sector and have to travel to Canberra all the time.

22. He would also lecture at Sydney Uni.

23. Ross wouldn't get shit for going to the tanning place Monica suggested because he would already be burnt AF from the Aussie sun.

24. He also wouldn't need to get a spray tan, but he would need to get his moles checked.

25. Ross would sing "Nosebleed Section" by the Hilltop Hoods to help Emma get to sleep.

26. The #BackpackingAcrossWesternEurope story that Rachel uses on Ross would be #BackpackingAcrossSouthEastAsia.

27. The gang wouldn't have to pivot the couch because all their furniture would be flat packed from IKEA.


28. But Ross would have trouble getting it all into a trailer he borrowed from his dad's cousin's uncle.

29. The Holiday Armadillo would be the Holiday Wombat.

30. The cheesecake Rachel and Chandler eat would be from Michel's Patisserie.

31. Phoebe would be all about clean-eating, Sarah Wilson's "No Sugar Diet" and kale smoothies.

32. Chandler would be trying to give up smoking his favourite Winnie Blues.

33. Joey would live for servo meat pies and goon of fortune.

34. "Joey doesn't share goon!"

35. They wouldn't play football in the park, they'd play cricket for the Geller Cup.

36. We wouldn't have to guess what Ross was dressed as for Halloween because this is Australia.

37. Joey wouldn't need Thanksgiving pants, he would need Christmas lunch pants for his "meat sweats."

38. The girls would sit in their wedding dresses with a bottle of Passion Pop each.

39. Ross' red sweater would be a Bintang singlet.

40. Ross would be livid that his co-worker threw away his Vegemite sanga.

41. Ross would never attempt to wear leather pants in the Australian heat.

42. He would have some really daggy trackie daks that have lost their elasticity instead.

43. Phoebe and Mike would get married during a heatwave in front of their local.

44. Chandler would be asked to work in Adelaide instead of Tulsa.

45. The groups' Barbados trip would definitely have been to Bali.

46. It would be too damn hot for Joey to put on Chandler's clothes and mock him.

47. "Could it BE any more hot?!"

48. And the series would end with Rachel almost moving to Perth because it's so far away… but she'd still get the fuck off that plane for sure.

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