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How Straya Is Your Christmas Day?

Everyone is sweaty.

Posted on
  1. Check off any that apply to you:

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    You wake up on Christmas morning hungover AF.
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    You’re torn between more sleep and PRESENTS TIME.
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    Your breakfast is usually cooked on the barbie.
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    You have to wear “nice Christmas clothes” (thongs, t-shirt, shorts).
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    You have to get all the outdoor furniture from the garage.
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    No one wants to help set up in the heat.
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    Everyone wants to do the ice run.
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    One person/family always arrives an hour early.
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    One person/family always arrives at food serving time.
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    There are rows of eskies set up.
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    You have beer.
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    You have wine.
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    You have cider.
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    You have soft drink.
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    You have cordial.
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    Your lunch location is outside under shade.
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    You ALWAYS check for spider webs before sitting.
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    Mozzie repellent is on the table.
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    A giant sunscreen bottle floats around all day.
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    There’s also half-empty tubes of sunscreen.
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    You have citronella candles ready for later.
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    Everyone has a shitty Christmas crackers.
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    Some of them don’t work.
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    You read out all the lame jokes.
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    Everyone puts on their paper crown.
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    One person wears their crown the entire day.
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    You consume your weight in cherries.
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    You eat prawns (definitely not shrimp).
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    You eat hot meats, even in the heat.
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    Or they’re cooked days ago and served as cold cuts.
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    Pavlova is involved.
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    You have fruit salad with watermelon and rock melon.
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    You get water pistols for Christmas.
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    A slip ‘n’ slide is set up.
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    The little kids run around under a sprinkler.
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    Then the big kids join in.
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    Then the aunties and uncles join in.
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    Someone gets a bindi related foot injury.
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    There’s a traditional game of backyard cricket.
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    Deciding on the rules takes forever.
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    You use “six and out”.
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    You use “can’t get out first ball”.
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    You use “tippie go”.
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    You use “one hand, one bounce”.
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    One family member always takes it too far.
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    There’s a cricket ball accident.
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    The AC inside is cranking.
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    If you don’t have AC the ceiling fans are cranking.
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    Everyone is sweaty.
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    The Santa suit is most definitely sweaty.
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    And at the end of the day everyone is either asleep or heading to the beach.
 
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