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21 Things Only Anxious Flyers Will Understand

*motions to flight attendant* "I'm going to need all your Bloody Marys"

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You just booked your dream holiday!

Leave approved. Money saved. Destinations Googled.

BUT WAIT! You forgot one important detail.... you have to fly.

1. The journey to freaking the hell out begins.

2. These are your best friends.

No matter how many times Gavin from I.T. tells you that homeopathy doesn't work.

No matter how many times Gavin from I.T. tells you that homeopathy doesn't work.

3. No one gets why you're screaming when you can't find your ~good~ compression socks.

4. Or how it doesn't help when they tell you "flying is the safest form of travel."

5. There's a deep-seated jealousy you feel when someone says they sleep through flights.

6. Thinking it would be wise to check the flying record of your chosen airline...


...and then falling down a rabbit hole of plane crash Wikipedia sub tabs and YouTube videos that does no one any good.

7. At the airport, even the most progressive anxious flyer assumes everyone is a terrorist.


That grandma over there? ISIS!

The six year old boy travelling alone? Al Qaeda fo' sho'.

8. Judging everyone who lines up to get on the plane before it's announced.



9. Once boarded, you read the emergency exit card religiously even if you're always sceptical.

10. Every time a passenger sneezes it's potential Ebola.

11. When the flight attendants do the safety drill they have your undivided attention.


After all, these people are in charge of your safety in the unlikely event of an emergency.

12. You've got the perfect stink eye for passengers still texting as the plane takes off.

13. You finally memorised all the plane noises and then they "add" a new one.


"There's that engine-y one, the dingy sound, the 'we're about to take off cross check the doors' thing... WHERE THE HELL DID THAT CRUNCH COME FROM?!?"

14. Too cold on board? Stifling heat? Doesn't matter, you're Mayor of Sweatsville.

15. Staring intently at the flight attendants' facial expressions during every single bump of turbulence.

16. Oh and speaking of turbulence, there's three levels of bumpiness.

17. A slightly mild hum of the plane that's different to smooth sailing.

18. Actual movement from the plane and the ding of the seatbelt sign.

19. Then the pilot coming over the loud speaker to alert cabin crew to go back to their seats.


All hope is lost.

20. By some miracle the plane finally lands, everything is alright and you're indebted to all involved.

21. And as you walk down the airbridge towards your holiday destination, you find comfort in the knowledge that there's only one way to deal with flying anxiety.


(Obviously in the safety of your luxurious resort bedroom.)

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