back to top

31 Batshit Things Real-Life Parents Have Actually Experienced

You won't believe it until you've lived it.

Posted on

1. "I walked into the house and thought, I should check the answering machine. I then stood in the kitchen trying to remember where the answering machine was until I realized I haven't had an answering machine in over 12 years."

2. "I couldn't get the microwave to work — I kept pushing the start button but it wouldn't turn on. When I started crying my husband walked over, closed the microwave door, and hit start. It worked."


See more funny pregnancy brain fails here.


See more funny epic parenting fails here.


See more inappropriate things kids did here.

17. "My 4-year-old son was playing on my phone and uploaded a Snapchat of my boob hanging out (I'd just finished nursing my daughter). It had multiple views, but I never got the courage to see who looked at it."

19. "I farted in line at Walmart, and it ended up really loud and smelly. I blamed it on my 2-year-old by saying, 'Wow, baby, you have a stinky butt today!' He replied, 'No, mama, that was YOU!' Everyone knew."

21. "My almost 3-year-old daughter was trick-or-treating. When she received her candy she continued to stand there, then looked up at the man and informed him, 'I'm peeing.'"

See more awkward parenting moments here.

See more hilarious things kids mispronounced here.

28. "My daughter is afraid of sandwiches. She will eat a piece of bread, but put two pieces together with anything in between and she starts screaming and backing away like it's a spider."

See more funny things kids are afraid of here.

Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.