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Parents

31 Batshit Things Real-Life Parents Have Actually Experienced

You won't believe it until you've lived it.

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1. "I walked into the house and thought, I should check the answering machine. I then stood in the kitchen trying to remember where the answering machine was until I realized I haven't had an answering machine in over 12 years."

2. "I couldn't get the microwave to work — I kept pushing the start button but it wouldn't turn on. When I started crying my husband walked over, closed the microwave door, and hit start. It worked."

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17. "My 4-year-old son was playing on my phone and uploaded a Snapchat of my boob hanging out (I'd just finished nursing my daughter). It had multiple views, but I never got the courage to see who looked at it."

19. "I farted in line at Walmart, and it ended up really loud and smelly. I blamed it on my 2-year-old by saying, 'Wow, baby, you have a stinky butt today!' He replied, 'No, mama, that was YOU!' Everyone knew."

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21. "My almost 3-year-old daughter was trick-or-treating. When she received her candy she continued to stand there, then looked up at the man and informed him, 'I'm peeing.'"

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28. "My daughter is afraid of sandwiches. She will eat a piece of bread, but put two pieces together with anything in between and she starts screaming and backing away like it's a spider."

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See more funny things kids are afraid of here.

Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.