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Literally Just 23 Funny Tweets About Having Your Kids Home For The Summer

Summer break will break you.

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7yo: [crying] IT'S THE 1ST DAY OF VACATION Me: 7: YOU'VE DONE NOTHING TO MAKE IT FUN Ladies & gents, start your engines. Summer has begun


Summer's my favorite time of the year because spraying your kids in the face with a hose is considered engaged parenting and not abuse.


93% of a parent's time at the pool is spent "watching this" and adjusting goggles.


It's unfortunate that "Swimsuit Season" coincides with "My Kids Are With Me 24/7 Season" aka "Drink 2,000 Calories Of Wine Every Day Season"


"Oh! Your swimsuit comes with its own boobs!" -7yo pointing out my padded top to everyone at the pool


Summer Break: Day 9 7yo: DO LADIES BREAK UP WITH BOYS CUZ THEY FART? Me: No? 7: GOOD CUZ THAT WOULD BE MEAN Plz, school. Take them back.


I'd say about 98%- no, make that 99% - of the conversations my kids have initiated with me this summer have been about Minecraft.


Summer Vacation Log, Day 18. The girl child has finally stopped talking. Oh, false alarm. She's just choking. The quiet is nice, though.


Oh what a beautiful summer night! *cleans bathroom grout*


My kids have been out of school for two weeks & I haven't been arrested or sent to a mental hospital yet so I'd say things are going great.


This summer all I ask of my kids is that they brush their teeth before noon. Still don't know if it's gonna happen.


Four kids home with nothing to do means they are brushing the dog's teeth now. Wait...that lasted 10 seconds & the dog has 1 clean tooth.


The kids are throwing water balloons at each other. This counts as their bath, right?


Take your kids to the beach so they can displace 80% of the world's beach sand into their shoes and other people's eyes.


My kids are engaged in a heated debate over which of them has fingers that look more like hot dogs so take that, summer learning packets.


Bringing kids with me to Target is my favorite summer activity. <-- LIES


It isn't officially summer until your kids are surviving on nothing but hot dogs and watermelon.


Ice Cream for dinner is totally legitimate when it's almost 95 degrees at 5pm, right? #AskingForAFriend


I spend an inordinate amount of my summer yelling at my kids & making a deliberate effort to not call them by the dogs' names


took the kids to the park so they could beat each other up in the fresh air


*looks up from phone* "Kids!! we're leaving the playground in 22 percent."


Every day during summer break: "You kids are going to bed early tonight!" Every night during summer break: "Whoops. Maybe tomorrow night."


Summer w kids is like being in the Olympics. You get the gold metal when you drive them to their first day of school #parenting #momlife

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