Parents

31 Things No One Tells You About Becoming A Parent

You're going to need to know this stuff before you take the plunge.

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6. You will gain 15 pounds.

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Kids love to eat ice cream, and what are you gonna do? Let them eat that tiny, 4-ounce kid’s cup without getting a jumbo for yourself? That would just be rude.

11. Parenting is harder than you think it’ll be, but you won’t really notice.

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Kind of like how lobsters don’t notice the water getting hotter, parents don’t notice how increasingly difficult parenting becomes.

18. The power of cute is more formidable than you realize.

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Right now you’re like, “I’ll never give in to my kid’s whims and desires.” But you have never had a 3-year-old peer up at you and say, “Pwease? PWEASE?"

19. You will find talking to your friends without kids more difficult.

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Friend: “I met this gorgeous girl at the club last night and we’ve been texting all day.” You: “I changed a poopy diaper.” Awkward silence.

21. Something you love will get ruined.

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Kids have a knack for breaking, dirtying, or losing your favorite possessions. Don’t get too attached to that deer head, pal.

22. You will turn into your parents.

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At some point you will actually find yourself saying, “That’s it! I will turn this car around!” and "Your face is gonna freeze like that!"

24. You won’t be able to watch movies where kids are killed or kidnapped.

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When you have a little person in your house who you love more than anything, those movies hit a little too close to home.

25. You won’t want to spend money on yourself because you’ll know every dollar spent on yourself is a dollar you could’ve spent on your family.

27. When your kid is little, every trip out of the house will feel like getting ready to go to the airport.

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“Got the wipes?” “Check.” “The diapers, change of clothes, blanket, baby bottle, pacifier?” “Uh, check.”

28. You will love to watch kids' movies.

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This isn’t because the movies are so great (though most are tolerable these days), but because they're an amazing bonding experience with your kid.

29. You will cram your entire adult life between the time your kid goes down and you go to sleep.

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“Quick! Turn on The Walking Dead! Pour the wine! Tell me what you think about Obamacare! Ah, crap. It’s time for bed.”

30. For a while, only you will be able to understand them, so you’ll basically become their interpreter.

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Grandma: “What did she say? Moogle woogle boo?” You: "No, she wants me to take her and her cousin to the park over on Smith Street next Tuesday.”

31. And lastly, it’s all worth it.

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OK, so this is something people will tell you, but it’s true. Even with all of the maddening things that come along with being a parent, being someone’s mommy or daddy is one of life's most rewarding experiences.