19 "Weird Kid" Confessions That Will Make You Want To Take A Shower
They got this stuff off their chests — but maybe they shouldn't have.
1. "When I was 4, I'd grab the entire tub of butter and eat it with a spoon like it was ice cream. It still haunts me to this day that I did that."
2. "My parents refused to get me a dog, so I carried around a "pet" fly...that was dead. My parents tried numerous times to throw it away, but I kept finding it."
3. "When I was 5 or so, my grandma had those Dixie cups you use for mouthwash. Whenever I visited her home, I'd see how many cups I could fill with my poo and then flush the evidence."
5. "As a kid I thought that if I couldn’t get out of the bathtub, dry off, dress, and leave the bathroom before the tub drained, the tub would transform into an ancient Egyptian sarcophagus and the newly teleported mummy inside it would get me. I have no explanation for this!"
6. "I used to really enjoy pulling off the dead skin from my sister’s sunburns in the summer. It makes me gag now, but it was as entertaining as cable television at the time."
7. "I named my stuffed animals after the noises I heard my parents make during sex."
8. "I was addicted to eating paper. I did it so much that I can still remember what different types of paper tasted like — hardcover book paper was the best, notebook paper had a sort of inky aftertaste, and construction paper was just nasty."
9. "As a kid I loved that deep freezer smell at the grocery store. So, when my folks's backs were turned, I'd hightail it to the nearest freezer and climb inside. I'd lay on top of all the food and just breathe deep! I was routinely plucked out by my scared/frustrated parents with my teeth chattering."
10. "I kept my toenail and fingernail trimmings in a small candle in our living room. My mother didn't find out until I showed my 'collection' to my aunt. I've never seen both of them so disgusted and disappointed in my life."
11. "I used to sew through the calluses on my feet with a needle and thread. I thought I was the only one who did that, but I was at a BDSM dungeon party last year, watching a flesh corset demo, and it turns out that other people did it too!"
12. "I ate coins. For some reason I used to just sit on my floor and swallow pennies and nickels. If I get some weird sickness when I’m older I can’t be surprised!"
13. "I wore skirts that I made out of duct tape and candy wrappers. This one has index cards on it too. I didn't have many friends, but I sure was interesting."
14. "I used to eat Play-Doh. We had a playhouse in my basement where I would store my Play-Doh (the adults couldn’t fit in there), and I would go down and eat pretty much an entire can."
15. "When I was 9 I liked to do the dishes so I could pretend I was in a Dawn soap commercial. I would say things like, 'See how squeaky clean this plate is?' and 'The scent of this dish soap makes my dishes smell so good!'"
16. "I used to think people literally 'caught' colds. So when I got sick I'd purposely cough and sneeze dramatically in hopes someone else would catch it next so I could get better."
17. "I would pick chewed gum off the sidewalk and eat it."
18. "I used to eat baby powder. Yes, baby powder. Loads of it. Like a kid in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, I'd shovel it into my mouth. I still don't know why to this day. I tried to do it again as an adult and it was just...no."
19. "When I was little, I thought all of my toys came to life like in Toy Story. It was cute at first but then I became afraid of my toys, thinking they would be mad if I didn’t play with them. This then turned into me believing that if I didn’t play with every Barbie doll and hug every stuffed animal, they would get mad and kill me as I slept."
Submissions have been edited for length and clarity.