3. Send them this Louis C.K. rant on how crappy it is to be 40.
“It’s just shitty now.”
6. Throw an arm over their shoulder and say, “If you had a kid at 20, and then that kid had a baby at 20, you’d be a grandparent!”
11. If they love sports, you can say, “Did you realize you’re now older than every player on the World Champion Boston Red Sox?”
Actually, you could say this about 25 out of the 30 major league teams. Heh.
14. Say, “Forty, huh? If this were the 1700s you’d already be dead.”
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