3. Send them this Louis C.K. rant on how crappy it is to be 40.
“It’s just shitty now.”
6. Throw an arm over their shoulder and say, “If you had a kid at 20, and then that kid had a baby at 20, you’d be a grandparent!”
11. If they love sports, you can say, “Did you realize you’re now older than every player on the World Champion Boston Red Sox?”
Actually, you could say this about 25 out of the 30 major league teams. Heh.
14. Say, “Forty, huh? If this were the 1700s you’d already be dead.”
- Sean Spicer today said "his intention is never to lie" as White House press secretary, a pledge that came after making false claims this weekend about Trump's inauguration.
- President Trump signed an anti-abortion executive order that reinstates the so-called global gag rule, barring foreign organizations taking US money from providing abortions.
- The new Trump Hotel in Washington, DC, has lost more than $1 million and is in violation of Donald Trump's lease with the government, say Democratic lawmakers.
- The all-day breakfast boom at McDonald's is over as sales once again continued to fall for the fast food giant 🍳 📉