back to top

27 Universal Truths Of Parenting

You will get peed on.

Posted on

1. It is impossible to feed a baby without also opening your mouth.

Flickr: locket479 / Via Creative Commons

2. Your kid will have to pee the second you get them into a leotard and tights.

Flickr: oudeschool / Via Creative Commons

3. Or a snow suit.

Flickr: akahodag / Via Creative Commons

4. Or a carseat.

Basically, kids always have to pee at the most inopportune moments.
Flickr: jemaleddin / Via Creative Commons

Basically, kids always have to pee at the most inopportune moments.

5. If you go to the bathroom your kid will choose that exact moment to get all up in your business.

Flickr: andrewscott / Via Creative Commons

6. If it occurs to you that your kids haven't been sick in a while, they will get sick almost immediately.

And guess what? You will too.
Creativa / Via

And guess what? You will too.

7. At some point you will return home to discover you put your kid's shoes on the wrong feet hours earlier.

Flickr: clarkmaxwell / Via Creative Commons

8. Your baby will wake from a nap the second you and your partner start to get frisky.

How people ever have second kids, I don't know.
Flickr: dianaschnuth / Via Creative Commons

How people ever have second kids, I don't know.

9. The cooler you feel, the more embarrassing you are to your kids.

Flickr: jonnycocker / Via Creative CommonsT

10. The newer the shirt, the more likely it is to be spit-up on.

Flickr: potashman / Via Creative Commons

11. You will use a parenting cliché... and mean it.

12. If your kid falls asleep within five minutes of home, they won't sleep for hours.

Flickr: spaceninja / Via Creative Commons

13. As bad as two-year-olds are, three-year-olds are worse.

The "terrible twos" got nothing on "threenagers."
Flickr: tanya_little / Via Creative Commons

The "terrible twos" got nothing on "threenagers."

14. Whatever awesome thing your kid can do in front of you, they will be too shy to do in front of others.

Flickr: dammit_jill / Via Creative Commons

15. Babies will always find the worst thing on the ground... and put it in their mouth.

Flickr: joshunter / Via Creative Commons

16. The minute you answer the phone your kids will start acting loud and crazy.

Flickr: jamelah / Via Creative Commons

17. Your kids will sleep late on the days they need to get up, and be up at the crack of dawn on days they don’t.

Flickr: swan-t / Via Creative Commons

18. Your kid’s favorite toy will be the one you spent the least amount of money on.

That is, if it's not the box it came in.
Flickr: seandreilinger / Via Creative Commons

That is, if it's not the box it came in.

19. If your teenager is suddenly sugar sweet it's because they want something.

michaeljung / Via

20. No matter what you make your kids to eat, they will want something else the minute you set it in front of them.

Flickr: clintus / Via Creative Commons

21. When your kid does something that makes you think they might be a genius, they will then do something that makes you think they were dropped as a baby.

Flickr: shootina710is / Via Creative Commons

22. When you go to the supermarket your route will never fail to pass every toy, sugary cereal, and candy in the place.

Flickr: dsevilla / Via Creative Commons

23. The minute you throw out something your kid hasn’t mentioned in months they will immediately ask for it.

Flickr: baggis / Via Creative Commons

24. Your kids will look anywhere but the camera when you say “cheese.”

25. Babies will need a diaper change the minute your food comes at a restaurant.

Flickr: littlemoresunshine / Via Creative Commons

26. If you swear in front of your kid, they will repeat it in front of their teacher, your mother-in-law, or a priest.


27. Sitting through an episode of Barney will seem like forever, but your kid will grow up in a flash.

Flickr: wwa / Via Creative Commons
The best things at three price points