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Parents

18 Exhaustingly Funny Tweets From Parents With A LOT Of Kids

"And your child's birthdate?" "Uh..."

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1. With this many kids you sometimes think you're losing it:

Found out at my Doctor's appointment that the disturbing voices I've been hearing non stop are called children.

2. And your effort level definitely changes from kid to kid:

The hardest part of having multiple kids is explaining why only your first child has a baby book.

3. But you know what? You're too tired to care:

1st kid: Valentine's box shaped like a princess castle. 3rd kid: Here's a kleenex box. Do your thing.

4. Sometimes you even just use shorthand:

I have so many kids, when I introduce them I simply gesture in their general direction and say, “And this is my kid collection.”

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5. You don't get much help bringing in the groceries:

The great thing about having four kids is having four people to watch me bring in the groceries all by myself.

6. Or, uh, putting them away:

Putting away groceries with six kids in the house is like shoveling during a blizzard- except snow doesn't whine, scream, cry, or provoke louder siblings.

7. And sometimes you wonder if you've made a mistake:

Kids are like doughnuts. Sweet and yummy but more than one, maybe two, and you're like, "What the hell have I done?"

8. Truth be told, you'd do almost ANYTHING for some kid-free time:

You, single: yeesh, imagine going to Mars knowing you can never come back Me, married with 4 kids: *fake laugh* yeah imagine

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9. Because you have to do a lot of juggling:

Parenting multiple kids is mostly just trying to keep the awake ones quiet enough that the sleeping ones stay asleep.

10. And remembering details gets a LOT harder:

Receptionist at pediatrician’s office: Child’s birth date and year? Me, mother of 3: Wow ok I didn’t know there was going to be maths *nervous laughter* let’s see he’s four, it was late April or May, rainy I think, he’s a classic Gemini if that helps, this isn’t in his file?

11. You sort of lose touch with what's normal:

Having 3 kids means I literally have no concept of what is or is not gross to normal people anymore.

12. Things make sense now that didn't before:

[When I only had one 14 month old] Why would people pay for a toddler to go to preschool? [With two toddlers and a 5yo] Why don't they have 7 day preschools? Preschool boarding schools? At least some overnight camps?

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13. Traveling with a lot of kids is...a lot:

I've been married to my husband for a decade & never heard him order straight whiskey at dinner until our road trip with 3 kids.

14. Seriously, it ain't easy:

What's inside the family suitcase? •60% kids' clothes •20% kids' toys •10% kids' miscellaneous •9.9% mom's stuff •.1% dad's stuff

15. Even just going out to eat can be an adventure:

The fun part about taking three kids out to eat is guessing whether you're going to end up eating 4 meals or zero.

16. And your home is rarely clean:

Some families decorate with throw pillows, my family decorates with throw piles of laundry.

17. Basically, your life is kind of crazy:

5 kids is like having a constant houseparty in your brain, but all the guests are shitting on the floor, breaking things, and yelling dick and fart jokes while reinacting blue man group routines.

18. But you know what? You just go with it — and everything (sort of) works out in the end:

Me: We've taken 1,000 pics. We're never going to get all 4 kids smiling at once. Wife: Fine. Just pick the best one