Six Pack Mom — aka Stephanie Ortiz from Long Island, New York — has earned a good following on Twitter by dishing about her hilariously hectic life as the mother of six.
Yes, you heard that right: SIX kids.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, Ortiz often tweets about the "joy" of trying to feed her brood.
It's 8:40am & I just broke up a fistfight over who gets the last tater tot, in case you're wondering how fulfilling parenthood is.
Sometimes her kids won't even let her in the door.
When you come home with a week's worth of groceries & the kids eat up two days of food while you're still unpacking.
Ortiz told BuzzFeed that no matter what she makes, "the odds are at least one of the six will complain 'it makes me want to throw up in my mouth.'"
My daughter can't find her glasses, her shoes, or her backpack, but she can spot a sliver of onion in a bowl of rice from 10 feet away.
The "makes me want to throw up in my mouth" line was a direct quote from one of her kids, btw. 😂
I hate when they want food & there's no food & I have to be the one to go & buy & cook the food just so they can say they hate the food.
And, well, maybe sometimes they have a point.
5pm, to kids: "Stop complaining that there's nothing good to eat here! Have some fruit!" 11pm, to self: "There's nothing good to eat here."
Mornings with six kids are a lot of fun too!
Practiced our school morning routine today, so I hid one of each kid's shoes, spilled cereal, & had the toddler throw my keys in the trash.
And if Ortiz doesn't make it look easy, well, that's okay.
I'm just trying to hide my bedhead & guzzle coffee while dropping my kids off at school. Meanwhile, the PTA moms:
Mornings have nothing on bedtime, though.
What's bedtime with multiple kids feel like? THIS.
Let's just say it's a little...busy.
Describe what the hour before the kids' bedtime is like? Hmm.. let's see... sort of... Oh, right. Just like THIS.
And she has to do this...six times.
Me: "It's bedtime; did you brush your teeth?" 7 yr old: "Yes- here, smell." LIAR.
Ortiz said her biggest challenge is juggling all of the needs of six very different individuals. The good news is that her kids are pretty hilarious.
Me: "Why are these Legos all over the floor?!" 5: "To keep everyone else away; it's my computer turn." BRILLIANT.
Like all kids, though, they can be a little frustrating.
It takes my toddler son four minutes to put his shoes on, yet he can delete three apps & open Netflix on my iPhone in 12 seconds.
A big family wasn’t always the plan, Ortiz told BuzzFeed. “My original life plan involved too many cats, too many books, and NO kids. But I fell head over heels in love with my husband and we decided to have a baby after a year of marriage. That went so well that we decided, 'We could totally handle two kids!'" (And three, and four, and...)
After all these years, Ortiz is still very in love with her husband — but in a six kids + many years of marriage kind of way.
*watching husband sleep* Me: "I just love him so much, he's my everyth-" *husband snores* Me: "I can't live like this."
Ortiz said that many people assume that she’s a fitness blogger because of her @Six_Pack_Mom handle, but let's just say she's not exactly all about health and fitness.
8am- eats healthy breakfast 12pm- eats healthy lunch 6pm- eats healthy dinner 11pm- rips open bag of chips & straps it on like a feedbag
So what does her family think about her tweets?
"I’m not sure any of them grasp how Twitter even works," Ortiz said. "Anytime I tell my husband about something on Twitter I get the same response: 'Now explain to me what that means…' He’s supportive, but social media is not his thing."
When you're picking up your kids from school wearing the same thing as yesterday & fellow parents walk by.
As for her kids? They aren’t particularly impressed. "Whenever I mention Twitter they let out a collective 'That’s nice, Mom. Can we have a snack?'”
Family Movie Night- I'd tell you what movie we're watching, but with 6 kids chewing popcorn I can't hear a word...