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    Posted on Feb 2, 2015

    23 Things You'll Never Hear A Parent Say

    “Disneyland is actually quite affordable!”

    1. “Tell me more about Minecraft!”


    2. “A kids grilled cheese for just $11? What a steal!"

    3. "I am so over sleeping in."

    Flickr: squant / Via Creative Commons

    4. “If I could relive one minute over and over for the rest of my life, it would definitely be the one after I tell my kids it’s time for bed.”

    Flickr: noahfans / Via Creative Commons

    5. “Finally, it’s date night! Shall we go to Chuck E. Cheese's?”

    Flickr: aloha75 / Via Creative Commons

    6. “Even after three years the backseat of my minivan still looks brand new!”

    7. "Thank you for the unsolicited critique of my parenting.”

    The WB

    8. “I sure hope my neighbor turns on his leaf blower during naptime!”

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    9. “I think it’s so charming when you refer to my baby as ‘it.’”

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    10. “There’s no better time for a waiter to take 20 minutes to take your order than when you’re eating with kids."

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    11. “I can’t wait to explain sex to my kids!”


    12. "Stepping on a Lego is so refreshing!”

    13. “Yes! Parent teacher conferences!”


    14. “Is there a more stress-free moment than when your kid is at bat in Little League?”

    Flickr: psycho-pics / Via Creative Commons

    15. “No fair! You got to put the toy together last time!”

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    16. “My favorite part of being pregnant was all the random people who came up and touched my belly.”

    Screen Gems

    17. “No, I haven’t lost all the baby weight yet. How sweet of you to notice.”

    Getty Images/iStockphoto Manuel-F-O

    18. "The people on parenting message boards are so nonjudgmental and supportive!”

    Channel 4

    19. "It would be super helpful if you could glare at me and my baby this whole flight."

    Photodisc / Via Getty Images

    20. "Gee, I hope my kid asks for a glass of water at 4 a.m. tonight!”


    21. “Please just take one bite of chocolate. Just one, and then you can go back to eating your vegetables.”

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    22. “Disneyland is actually quite affordable!”

    Paramount Pictures

    23. "I just haven't been to enough children's birthday parties in this life."

    Flickr: theeerin / Via Creative Commons


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