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Parents

23 Things Parents Said That Sounded Wildly Inappropriate Out Of Context

"We don't lick other people's balls."

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3. "Stop crying already. The car barely hit you."

Odeon Films

"I said this while on the phone with my mom after my 4-year-old had screamed for 45 minutes that a kid at preschool bumped her arm with his plastic car in the sandbox. My mom was a little worried I didn't take a hit and run seriously enough."

— Janelle G. Morgan, Facebook

4. “Spread your legs! Let me get in there!”

AMC

"I was crowding around the chihuahua race track at a taco festival when I heard a frustrated man say this. Shocked, I turned around to see a dad trying to help his 4-year-old sit on his shoulders."

aniellel447fa4589

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14. “Stop licking my lamp!”

NBC

"My husband informed my kids that the pink globe lamp I got for my birthday is, in fact, made of salt. Now they won't leave it alone. The three-year-old says it tastes like chips."

danahasset

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17. "Stop poking your dad with my wooden penis!”

Fox

"Recently, my sister bought me a novelty wooden bottle opener shaped as a penis as a gift (Thanks, I think?) and my 8-year-old nephew started poking his dad with it."

Mamatika

18. “Stop tea bagging each other or everybody is off the trampoline!”

CodeBlack Films

"Said to a crew of eleven-year-old boys at a massive birthday party after they found a box of orange pekoe tea in the back alley."

hollyvivier

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