23 Things Parents Said That Sounded Wildly Inappropriate Out Of Context

    "We don't lick other people's balls."

    We asked followers of the BuzzFeed Community to share the things they've said as parents that sounded really, really "off" out of context:

    1. “We don’t lick other people's balls.”

    2. "He farted into my hand. Thank goodness!"

    3. "Stop crying already. The car barely hit you."

    4. “Spread your legs! Let me get in there!”

    5. "DID YOU GET THE D?"

    6. "You have to be naked! This doesn’t work if you're not naked!”

    7. “Get your penis off the refrigerator, please.”

    8. "Go finish your fingering worksheet."

    9. "Stop rubbing your cookie on things!"

    10. “Make sure you wet just the tip. It’ll make more noise that way.”

    11. “Stop hitting the chickens with your underwear!”

    12. "Holster your guns when we are in Target!"

    13. “Just because it fits in your mouth doesn’t mean it belongs there.”

    14. “Stop licking my lamp!”

    15. "I love you too, sweetie. Now let mommy go so I can wipe your butt, please."

    16. “I wonder if Dick’s have balls?”

    17. "Stop poking your dad with my wooden penis!”

    18. “Stop tea bagging each other or everybody is off the trampoline!”

    19. “This is a nut cheese family. We love our nut milk and nut cheese.”

    20. "You have to put on your bathing suit before you can ride the chicken!”

    21. "Meat is not poop!"

    22. “Go have your shark eat daddy’s carcass.”

    23. “I don’t care who started it, the rule is you don’t shoot people in the face!”

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