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Parents

19 Things No One Tells You About Having A Kid In Grade School

Buckle up, parents.

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1. Your kid will be turned into a door to door salesman.

Your kid: "Hi, Old Lady two doors down. Would you like to buy a magazine subscription for my school fundraiser so I can win a Nintendo 3DS?"
CBS

Your kid: "Hi, Old Lady two doors down. Would you like to buy a magazine subscription for my school fundraiser so I can win a Nintendo 3DS?"

2. School pictures will rarely turn out the way you hoped, but you will love them anyway.

But if things go REALLY south, there are usually re-shoot days.
Joercahill / buzzfeed.com

But if things go REALLY south, there are usually re-shoot days.

3. Your kid will bring home way more artwork than you will know what to do with.

Save the good stuff, get rid of the rest. It's okay. Really.
BuzzFeed

Save the good stuff, get rid of the rest. It's okay. Really.

4. Common Core math will drive you to the point of tears.

5. Parent/teacher conferences will stress you out more than when you were a student.

Inside you'll be thinking: "Please don't make me feel like a bad parent, please don't make me feel like a bad parent..."
Universal

Inside you'll be thinking: "Please don't make me feel like a bad parent, please don't make me feel like a bad parent..."

6. It will be almost impossible to get your kid to tell you how their day went.

You: "Just tell me one thing that happened today! JUST ONE THING!!!"
Flickr: ando_yo / Via Creative Commons

You: "Just tell me one thing that happened today! JUST ONE THING!!!"

7. If you're patient, though, your kid will eventually tell you the schoolyard gossip.

NBC

As you listen you'll think, "I knew that Johnson kid was trouble!" And also, "Man, my kid is kind of snitch."

8. The other parents will dish out some tasty morsels of gossip too.

You'll find out about divorces, that mom who is pregnant at 43, and which teacher was seen stocking up on vodka at the local supermarket.
Twitter: @catrinnnn

You'll find out about divorces, that mom who is pregnant at 43, and which teacher was seen stocking up on vodka at the local supermarket.

9. You will almost definitely forget to pack your kid’s lunch at least once.

NBC

And you will feel so, so bad about it.

10. On the flip side, your kid will sometimes bring home their lunch totally uneaten.

Badass parent tip: Just pop the uneaten lunch into the fridge and send them to school with it the next day. Your kid won't forget to eat after that.
Flickr: buzzymelibee / Via Creative Commons

Badass parent tip: Just pop the uneaten lunch into the fridge and send them to school with it the next day. Your kid won't forget to eat after that.

11. The school drop-off line will raise your blood pressure.

Every parent who exits their car to help their kid out — instead of pulling forward — will be on your list. You know the list I mean.
Jenny Ingram / Via youtube.com

Every parent who exits their car to help their kid out — instead of pulling forward — will be on your list. You know the list I mean.

12. You will worry you're not helping out enough at school.

This is especially true if you work far away from school. But if you make an effort to do what you can, you should give yourself a break.
Comedy Central

This is especially true if you work far away from school. But if you make an effort to do what you can, you should give yourself a break.

13. You will need to invest in a good pair of headphones.

Choose your poison, parents: saxophone, trumpet, flute, violin, cello...
Flickr: wwworks / Via Creative Commons

Choose your poison, parents: saxophone, trumpet, flute, violin, cello...

14. You might end up the owner of a goldfish thanks to the school carnival.

Taking the "fun" out of "fundraiser."
christinegallagherschmitz / Via instagram.com

Taking the "fun" out of "fundraiser."

15. You will have to sit through a two-hour holiday program just to see your kid perform for 90 seconds with their class.

CBC / Via giphy.com

Two hours of waiting to watch your kid half-heartedly sing "Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer." That is parenting in a nutshell.

16. The credibility of this document would not hold up under oath.

Your kid: "But we didn't read on Wednesday!"You: "We read twice as long last night to make up for it. Now shhh."
markiecooks / Via instagram.com

Your kid: "But we didn't read on Wednesday!"

You: "We read twice as long last night to make up for it. Now shhh."

17. You will wonder how your kid is doing A LOT throughout the school day.

18. You will probably get stuck doing some — if not all — of your kid's science project.

Who knew that having a kid meant having to learn how to make a battery out of a lemon?
Flickr: 13255522@N04 / Via Creative Commons

Who knew that having a kid meant having to learn how to make a battery out of a lemon?

19. And your heart will burst with warm fuzzies and pride when your kid gets recognized at school.

These are the moments that make all of the Common Core, science fair projects, and parent/teacher conferences worth it.
Flickr: nationalgardenclubs / Via Creative Commons

These are the moments that make all of the Common Core, science fair projects, and parent/teacher conferences worth it.

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