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19 Things No One Tells You About Having A Kid In Grade School

Buckle up, parents.

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1. Your kid will be turned into a door to door salesman.


Your kid: "Hi, Old Lady two doors down. Would you like to buy a magazine subscription for my school fundraiser so I can win a Nintendo 3DS?"

5. Parent/teacher conferences will stress you out more than when you were a student.


Inside you'll be thinking: "Please don't make me feel like a bad parent, please don't make me feel like a bad parent..."

7. If you're patient, though, your kid will eventually tell you the schoolyard gossip.


As you listen you'll think, "I knew that Johnson kid was trouble!" And also, "Man, my kid is kind of snitch."

8. The other parents will dish out some tasty morsels of gossip too.

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You'll find out about divorces, that mom who is pregnant at 43, and which teacher was seen stocking up on vodka at the local supermarket.

10. On the flip side, your kid will sometimes bring home their lunch totally uneaten.

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Badass parent tip: Just pop the uneaten lunch into the fridge and send them to school with it the next day. Your kid won't forget to eat after that.

11. The school drop-off line will raise your blood pressure.

Jenny Ingram / Via youtube.com

Every parent who exits their car to help their kid out — instead of pulling forward — will be on your list. You know the list I mean.

12. You will worry you're not helping out enough at school.

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This is especially true if you work far away from school. But if you make an effort to do what you can, you should give yourself a break.

15. You will have to sit through a two-hour holiday program just to see your kid perform for 90 seconds with their class.

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Two hours of waiting to watch your kid half-heartedly sing "Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer." That is parenting in a nutshell.

16. The credibility of this document would not hold up under oath.

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Your kid: "But we didn't read on Wednesday!"

You: "We read twice as long last night to make up for it. Now shhh."

18. You will probably get stuck doing some — if not all — of your kid's science project.

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Who knew that having a kid meant having to learn how to make a battery out of a lemon?

19. And your heart will burst with warm fuzzies and pride when your kid gets recognized at school.

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These are the moments that make all of the Common Core, science fair projects, and parent/teacher conferences worth it.

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