1.
Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmastime" is about friends practicing witchcraft but then someone walks in and they have to suddenly play it cool
2.
An Ex Boyfriend once got me a Fitbit for Christmas. I loved it. We synched up, motivated each other... didn’t hate it until he was unaccounted for at 4am and his physical activity levels were spiking on the app 🥴wish the story wasn’t real. https://t.co/npRkLJYYz0
3.
🎵 "Oh Christmas Shibe oh Christmas Shibe" 🎶
4.
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day You stuffed it underneath the floorboards with the rest of my corpse until the sound of my heartbeat intensified your descent into madness
5.
Three months ago I was crying every single day when I drove home from work because I was so unhappy with my life. I’m still doing that but now I get to listen to Christmas music simultaneously
6.
Die Hard isn’t a Christmas movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman. It’s a Harry Potter movie.
7.
only a few more mental breakdowns till Christmas break guys we got this
8.
So an artist in Paris has made a sculpture that is supposed to be a modern rendition of a Christmas tree... Butt is it really🤷♂️😂😂😂
9.
The best way to spread Christmas cheer is to cancel exams for the rest of the year
10.
me: [gasp] santa! what are you doing here santa: oh ho ho i was just- my mom: [turning on light] you get the fuck out of here santa: linda he deserves to know who his dad is
11.
never forget about the insanely british kid who threatened to uppercut santa if he’s on the naughty list
12.
Okay but my parents went off making this Christmas Tree 😍
13.
all i want for christmas is you- mariah carey
14.
composer: i made a christmas song, it’s called carol of the bells conductor: sounds festive! how will it sound? cheery and bright? composer: *eyes rolling back* 𝙚𝙭𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙝𝙖𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙
15.
The reason there are no gay made-for-tv Christmas movies is that they always end with the protagonist moving back to their hometown and no homosexual would ever willingly do that
16.
Christmas is really in two weeks and everyone’s gift is still at the store 😭
17.
The kids are going to so happy this Christmas.
18.
This is all I want for Christmas! (daisyinyorkshire / IG)
19.
What are you getting me for Christmas?