Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess, is a popular blogger, New York Times best-selling author, and Twitter favorite.
On Sunday, Lawson — who can admittedly be a little awkward in public — shared this embarrassing exchange:
Airport cashier: "Have a safe flight." Me: "You too!" I CAN NEVER COME HERE AGAIN.
Very quickly Lawson's followers were tweeting their own embarrassing exchanges at her, and she began to retweet them en masse. The result was a stream of cringingly awkward hilarity:
@TheBloggess I was once thanked by a grieving family member for coming to the funeral. I responded, " no, thank YOU!!" Worst!!!
@TheBloggess I texted my boss at the end of my FIRST DAY in the new job with: “Heading out. Love you.” intended for my boyfriend.
@TheBloggess Told a one armed man to tell his mother the flowers I just put together for her cost him an arm and a leg.
@TheBloggess Walked up to a baby-holding stranger (thinking it was my sister) at my daughter's soccer game and said "Give me the baby." 😳
@TheBloggess I apologised to a woman I nearly bumped into in a record store. It was my reflection in the window. I just dyed my hair blonde
@TheBloggess noticed the blind man approaching me wasn't sure where I was so called out 'on your right', I was on his left. He corrected me.
@TheBloggess I kept saying Merry Christmas to the Trick or Treaters last night. Now we have to move again.
@TheBloggess The handsomest man I've ever seen once sat down next to me & said "Hi." I responded with "I'm eating a tootsie roll." He left.
@TheBloggess The director of my play asked the audience to "turn off their phones and vibrators" instead of setting phones to vibrate.
@TheBloggess Pulled in to gas station & was on wrong side of the pump for my gas cap. Drove around to other side & did it again. Drove away
@TheBloggess A friend went placed her order at drivethru. She then heard "Could you drive up to the speaker you're talking to the trash can"
@TheBloggess I took a call at work & tried to transfer it. I was the only person there. I pretended to be someone else w/ a British accent.
@TheBloggess pre pap test friend sprayed perfume on her lady garden. Doc says "that's. ..festive." It was her daughter's glitter spray
@TheBloggess Got into the passenger seat of the wrong car outside of starbucks. The driver waited until I finished my phone call to tell me.
@TheBloggess After flunking a job interview, got up, shook everyone's hands, and walked into the coat closet.
@TheBloggess an elderly man presented his discount card to me and i said "you're getting ready to expire!" I could not recover.
@TheBloggess bought Preparation H for under eye bags. Told the clerk she didn't need to bag it because I was going to use it in the car.
@TheBloggess We have a Texas sage plant that flowers before rain. When asked if it would rain today I said "Not according to my bush."
@TheBloggess nanny job interview, told job would involve light housekeeping replied "I've never kept a Lighthouse before but willing to try"
@TheBloggess Sandwich shop cashier: "What's your name?" Me: "Oh, uh, I have a boyfriend." Cashier: "For the sandwich."
@TheBloggess Was asked by a distant relative what I do...proudly exclaimed "I are a teacher!"
@TheBloggess I went to a friend's house, not knowing she had just moved. I walked right in, surprising the new tenants mid-coitus.
@TheBloggess I ended a supposedly professional work email to Alcoholics Anonymous with "cheers, Sara"
@TheBloggess On a trip, saw some baby horses, could not think of the word foal, finally shouted "horse kittens" and pointed. Wife understood
@TheBloggess I was looking for clip on sunglasses to go over my prescription glasses. Asked the pharmacist at CVS if they sold "strap ons."
@TheBloggess I told someone at a party, "that dirty old man is trying to hit on you". She said, "actually he's my fiancé".
@TheBloggess mistook the man limping towards me for someone i knew. "my god! what happened to you?" "i had polio as a child." i ran away.
@TheBloggess Had my laptop hooked up to a projector for a work meeting w/ execs, received an email from a friend: "WHAT THE FUCK IS RHUBARB"
@TheBloggess sent the following text (about my Hispanic landlord) to NOT my roommate:"Jesus is coming at 10am. Be awake and have clothes on"
@TheBloggess was waiting in line, stepped backwards onto someone's foot, turned around with open hands in apology, cupped both her boobs.
In the end, Lawson said what we're all thinking:
My God, I love you people.